I'll Protect You
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: Emilie's world is turned upside down when her two sons are taken away from her. Her older son makes a promise to always protect his little brother. Stephen and Michael would become Cal and Ethan, both of them having no idea of their previous life. And from then on as they grow up Cal keeps his promise and continues to protect Ethan from anything. Based on 'Step Right Up'.
1. Chapter 1 Heartbreak

Tuesday morning. The day was going great for everyone else apart for Emilie. Tears rolled down her face as she was held back by two policemen watching her two young sons being taken away from her. Earlier when social services had arrived escorted by the police Emilie was shocked to see them at her front door. But, what even shocked her the most was the revelation of why they were at her home. Apparently, someone had phone social services with a complaint about neglect. They were told by the anonymous phone caller Emilie was 'unfit' to look after her own children and they were worried about their welfare. So that morning her two sons were taken away from her. She struggled against the hold the two policemen had on her as she screamed out her sons' names. Her heart broke as she saw her youngest trying to get away from the people who were taking him and his brother into a car. The social worker tried to calm the crying boy down, but it wasn't working. He kept breaking free and the social worker had to lead him back towards the car. Though her eldest was upset he too, he remained strong for his little brother as he held his hand in his and led him into the back seat of the car that was going to take them away. Peering from the back of the car window her youngest son cried out as the car began to pull away. It was only then when the car had driven down the road that the policemen allowed Emilie to be released. Once free from their hold on her, Emilie didn't run after the car. She couldn't. Her legs were frozen to the spot and she couldn't move. She collapsed onto the road sobbing as she thought about the loss of her sons.

In the back seat of the car Michael, her youngest was inconsolable. He kept screaming and tears were fast running down his cheeks. Next to him sat his 4 year old big brother. He too had tears running down his cheeks, but he knew he couldn't show his tears in front of his baby brother. He needed to be strong for both of them, needed to be strong for Michael.

"Mum. I want mum, Stephen." 2 year old Michael stuttered.

"I know, Mickey."Stephen said. "I want her too."

Michael continued to sob as his breaths come out in short bursts. Not liking the fact that his brother was upset, Stephen wrapped his arms around him and brought him into his chest. Michael snuggled up to him and placed his tiny hands on his brother's chest. Stephen began to stroke Michael's blond curls as the car carried on with the journey. The two of them had no idea where they were going, but the thought that they had each other was a comfort.

"What happens if we get split up?" Michael mumbled against Stephen's chest.

"Don't worry, I won't let that happen." Stephen replied.

"Promise?"

"I promise, little brother. I'll protect you."

Stephen placed a kiss upon his brother's head as the two of them drifted off in each other's arms. And Stephen would be right. The next few years would change their lives. Their lives would change for the better and all the memories of their existing life would be forgotten. Emilie would be forgotten. It would be a new start where two boys will grow up in a home surrounded by love and happiness. A story where a woman would get to have the family she'd always wanted and where another would live with pain of knowing her boys were growing up without her. A life where she would have no idea where they were and if they were happy. Yet, a part of her thought it was best her two sons knew nothing about her and the condition she was living with. All she wanted was for them to have a happy childhood where they could be themselves without having to worry about her. For how was she supposed to care for them if she couldn't care for herself? Her sons were better off without her. And she knew if she loved them then she could let them go and be happy. Even though she knew her sons were not with her it didn't mean she would ever stop thinking about them or loving them.


	2. Chapter 2 Football Match

_2 years later…._

6 year old Cal raced off down the forest lane while his mother and 4 year old brother walked behind him.

"Come on, Nibbles!" Cal shouted as reached a bridge.

Ethan let go of his mother's hand, running as fast his legs could go for a 4 year old. After about 10 minutes Ethan reached Cal. Although he was out of breath Ethan managed to give Cal a big smile. As a 4 year old Ethan looked up to his big brother and always felt safe when he was around. He also knew that together the two of them would have loads of fun.

"Do you think we can go off by ourselves?" Ethan asked taking Cal's hand.

"I'll go and ask mum." He replied. "Stay here."

Cal ran back to his mother as Ethan stood patiently for him to return.

"Mum, do you think me and Eth could go off by ourselves for a few minutes?" Cal asked.

"Only for a few minutes. And you must promise me you'll stay on this track, okay?"

Cal nodded in response and ran off again towards Ethan.

"And, Cal?" Their mum shouted. "Look after your brother."

"Will do!" Cal smiled.

He took Ethan's tiny hand in his and the two of them ran off. Cal could run fast but, Ethan only had little legs and so he couldn't keep up with the speed his brother was going. Cal noticed Ethan was struggling to keep up so he slowed down. They soon got tired. Both panting for breath. Cal looked towards Ethan and saw his eyes were beginning to droop.

"Come on, Eth." Cal said bending down. "I'll give you a piggy back."

Ethan jumped onto Cal's back and wrapped his arms around his brother's neck. The two of them walked along the path listening to the sounds of the birds in the trees. They hadn't gone far when Cal suddenly heard a sound. He stopped to pause. He heard it again. At first he didn't know what the sound was until he heard it was coming from behind him. Cal peered over his shoulders and saw Ethan was having trouble breathing. Worried, he gently placed him back on the ground. Turning towards him he knelt and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Ethan, try and stay calm for me." Cal tried to stay calm. "I think you're having an asthma attack."

Ethan looked at him with tears forming in his eyes.

"Scared." Ethan whimpered.

"I know. The running must have not helped." Cal said. "Is your inhaler in your pocket?"

Ethan nodded. Cal took the blue inhaler out from the coat pocket and gave Ethan a few puffs to inhale. After a couple of puffs Ethan's breathing was going back to normal. Cal placed the inhaler back into Ethan's coat pocket and stood back up.

"Maybe we should just walk from now on." Cal told him.

"No, I want to you." Ethan moaned.

Cal shook his head firmly.

"Some other time. I don't want you to have another attack."

"Okay." Ethan said sadly.

Cal ruffled his hair.

"Don't sulk, Nibbles. We can still have fun."

"What's so fun about walking?" Ethan asked.

"Well, for one thing we get to see more wildlife and two, we can pretend we're going on an adventure. What do you think?"

A smile appeared on Ethan's face. Grabbing his brother's hand, the two of them strolled down the forest track. It was getting late so they turned back around walking to meet their mother. On the way they had seen a squirrel, a few birds and a deer. The drive back home was a quiet one for as soon as the two boys got into the back seat they had dropped off. Their mother smiled at them as she looked into the rear view mirror. It would be straight to bed for her sons when they got home. Just as their car drove up the driveway the door opened and their father smiled at their mother when she got out of the driver's seat.

"How was your day?" He asked coming over and helping her carry their sons out of the car.

"Yes, we had a lovely day. The boys tired themselves out." She replied handing a sleeping Cal to her husband while she got Ethan out.

"I see." Her husband chuckled. "I guess it's an early night for them, then."

Their mother smiled and the two parents entered the house walking up the stairs to the bedroom. With their sons asleep in their beds both parents gave a kiss on their cheeks and tiptoed out. As soon as the door had closed, Ethan opened his eyes. Creeping out of bed he sneaked over to where Cal lay and just stood beside the bed, his hair a mess and thumb in his mouth. Even though Cal had his eyes closed he knew Ethan was standing in front of him. Cal smiled knowingly.

"Come on then." Cal said, budging over. "Get in."

Cal felt the mattress dip as Ethan clambered under the blankets. He snuggled down and went back to sleep. Cal gave a small chuckle before wrapping his arms around Ethan.

"Goodnight, Eth." Cal whispered.

"Night, Cal." Came a quiet reply.

The next morning was the weekend so the two brothers got up late. Rushing down the stairs the two of them smelt something tasty was cooking in the kitchen.

"PANCAKES!" They shouted running into the kitchen.

"Morning, boys." Their dad said.

"Morning, dad." They said in unison.

The two of them sat next to each other at the table as their mother placed a plate in front of them filled with banana pancakes.

"Now eat up. You've got a very special day to day." Their mum told them.

"Why?" Cal asked, his mouth full of food.

"Caleb Hardy." His mum warned him. "What have I told you about talking with your mouth full?"

Cal swallowed the rest of the food in his mouth.

"Sorry, mum."

Their mum returned back to what was she was doing.

"So what are we doing?" Ethan asked this time.

"Well," Their father began. "Today I'm taking the two of you to a football match."

"Really?" Cal said with a huge smile on his face.

"Yes." Their father replied. "So you better hurry up and get your coats on."

Cal and Ethan finished off their breakfast and got ready. While Cal and their dad were excited to see a game, Ethan, on the other hand, wasn't too keen with the idea. He was not really into sports, he would much rather have a book or go out to a museum or something. But, wanting to spend time with his brother and dad Ethan went along to the game. Around half time, Ethan was getting really bored of the game and became fidgety. He began playing with his glasses when he felt a sharp pain in the right side of his head.

"Ouch!" Ethan let out a grunt.

Both his dad and Cal turned around to see Ethan holding his head in his hands with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Ethan? What happened, mate?" Their dad asked.

Ethan didn't have time to answer. He felt another blow to the side his head. His dad looked to see what was happening. A brawl was breaking out in the seats and a guy who was being pushed backwards kept knocking Ethan with his elbow. Seeing the fight was about to escalate, their dad lifted Ethan off his seat and handed him to Cal.

"Go, take your brother out of here." Their dad instructed to his oldest son. "Wait for me by the park across the road from here, okay."

Cal did as he was told and carried Ethan out of the stadium. It wasn't until the two of them were sat on the bench that Cal noticed Ethan was bleeding. Getting a tissue out from his pocket Cal placed it on top of the wound. Ethan winced as he felt a slight pressure from Cal's hand.

"I know it hurts, but I need to stop the bleeding." Cal said.

"Where's dad?"

"Don't worry, Eth. He should be out in a minute."

On cue, their dad walked out of the stadium. He waved and smiled at his sons when they saw him. The two of them smiled back. Picking his youngest up, their dad took Cal's hand and the three of them walked back to the car. Closing the front door behind them, Cal and Ethan ran upstairs to play in their bedroom while their dad went into the living room.

"How was the match?" Their mum asked as her husband came and sat down beside her.

"Oh, you know. Grown men acting like children." Her husband replied.

"Did the boys enjoy themselves?"

"Cal did. Not sure about Ethan, though. I mean I know he's not keen on football like Cal but, I think he enjoyed himself."

"Well, maybe next time why don't you take them to something where they both enjoy it."

"Yeah, that sounds like another trip for next week. I think next time we'll go to the wildlife park together as a family. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."


	3. Chapter 3 The School Bully

10 year old Ethan stood in the playground away from the crowd of kids. He was looking at them running around when he felt someone push him. He fell to the ground. His glasses being knocked at a slight angle. He felt tears sting his eyes.

"Aww, Ethan is a baby." A kid chanted. A few of his mates joined in and began laughing at him.

"Stop it, Alex." Ethan said getting up.

14 year old Alex pushed Ethan back down and continued to tease him.

"Why? It's not like you're going to stop me. I'm much too strong for you and you're weak."

"Am not."

"Really? Wanna bet?" Alex laughed.

Ethan tried to get up but, Alex placed the heel of his shoe on top of his shoulder. Ethan struggled. Alex wasn't about to let him get up.

"See what did I say?" Alex smirked. "You're a wimp. Nobody likes you."

"I do." announced a voice.

Alex turned around, only to be pushed back off Ethan by Cal.

"That'll teach you to mess with my little brother, Alex Winters." Cal said, going to stand in front of Ethan.

"Aww, does scaredy Ethan need his big brother?" One of Alex's mate teased.

"Same goes for you, Sam Whitehall." Cal turned to face the other boy. "Why don't you two pick on someone your own age?"

"What? Like you, you mean?" Alex said, strolling over to Cal.

"You wouldn't dare bully me, Alex." Cal said.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm much stronger than you."

"Yeah, that's why I don't. Ethan is a much easier target. I can do what I like with him."

"You better not!" Cal warned him. "Because if you do, you'll have me to deal with."

Alex and Sam laughed Cal's threat off. Cal glared as they walked away. No one would be allowed to hurt Ethan. If they did, Cal would be on to them in a flash. Once Alex and Sam were off playing football with some of their other friends, Cal turned around.

"Come on, Eth. Let's go." Cal said, helping him up.

"Thanks, Cal." Ethan replied as he replaced his glasses back on properly.

"No problem. Remember what I said. I'll always protect you from people like Alex Winters and Sam Whitehall." Cal ruffled Ethan's hair.

At half past 3, the two brothers made their way back home. As they were walking along the road the familiar voice of Alex Winters could be heard.

"Why it isn't little scaredy weardy Ethan and his bodyguard." Alex mocked behind them as he slapped Ethan on the back of his head.

"Get your hands off him!" Cal shouted. "If you hit him again, I swear I'll knock you to the ground."

"You wouldn't dare." Alex challenged back.

Cal clenched his fist and was about to hit Alex straight in the face when he felt Ethan tug his arm back.

"No. Don't, Cal." Ethan muttered.

"Is Nibbles too scared to watch a little fight?" Alex said using the nickname Cal was only allowed to use.

"You don't get to call him that." Cal snapped.

"I'm only teasing with him. And anyway you call him that." Alex commented.

"Well, I'm allowed to. I'm his brother." Cal added.

"Whatever."

"Watch your back, Nibbles." Alex whispered in his ear as he pushed past.

Ethan gave a little whimper grabbing tightly onto Cal's hand as he watched Alex walk off into the distance.

"It's okay, Eth. He won't hurt you. I won't let him." Cal responded putting an arm around Ethan's shoulder as they walked home. Before they reached their front door, Ethan stopped suddenly.

"Eth? What is it?" Cal asked.

"Promise me you won't tell dad. Or mum."

"We've got to tell them."

Ethan shook his head.

"As long as I've got you they don't need to know."

"Eth, you know you'll always have me, but they have to know."

"No, they don't." Ethan told him firmly. "Promise me you won't tell them?"

"Ethan…"

"Cal. Promise me."

Reluctantly Cal agreed.

"Hi, boys!" Their dad called out from the living-room.

Cal replied back but, as for Ethan, he ran upstairs. The two of them heard the bedroom door slam shut. Their dad pulled the newspaper down and saw Cal standing in the hallway.

"What's wrong with your brother?" Their dad inquired. "Don't tell me you've been teasing him again, Cal? You know he hates it when you tease him, even if you are playing with him."

"It's not me who's been teasing him, dad." Cal answered as he came into the living room.

"Who then? Is there someone else who's been bullying him?" His dad pressed.

Cal cast his eyes down to the floor. He knew he'd made a promise to Ethan but, their dad needed to know.

"Cal, who's bullying Ethan?" His dad's tone more serious.

"Alex Whitehall and Sam Winters."

"Right. Stay here for a minute, Cal. I'll go up and talk to Ethan."

Leaving Cal to occupy himself, his dad climbed the stairs to their bedroom. Ethan lay curled up in a ball upon his bed. He heard the door open and presumed it was Cal.

"Go away, Cal. I just want to be left alone."

Ethan felt the mattress dip and someone stroke his hair.

"It's me." His dad whispered. "Look, Ethan. Cal's told me about what happened today at school. You should have told me yourself."

Ethan uncurled himself from his position and crawled over to his dad. His dad pulled him in for a hug.

"Bullying is not nice." His dad explained to him. "But, when people are not nice you have to tell someone so they can help. Not keep it to yourself."

Ethan nodded.

"Okay, dad." Ethan whispered. "I promise to tell my teacher."

"Good lad."

His dad then left Ethan to play with his toys. Later that night when Ethan was lying in his bed he saw Cal come up. As his brother entered the room Ethan turned his back towards him. Cal saw Ethan turn his back. Cal sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry, Eth." Cal apologised. "But, dad had to know. We only want to help you."

But, Ethan didn't respond. Cal sighed sadly and walked back over to his bed.

"I'm sorry." Cal apologised once more before switching the light off.


	4. Chapter 4 Shut Out

Ethan was out in the garden observing his little bird nest he found when he heard Cal come up behind him.

"What you doing?" Cal asked.

"Nothing." Came a reply.

"Oh, come on. It's not nothing if you have your tongue sticking out."

"Just go away."

"Don't tell me you're still angry with me?"

"You broke your promise!" Ethan turned around angrily. "You said you wouldn't tell dad."

"Eth, I said I was sorry." Cal pleaded.

"No, I don't want to hear it. I hate you!" With those words Ethan stormed back inside.

Cal watched as his brother stormed off. He felt guilty but, their dad needed to know. He didn't want to fight with Ethan. Ethan was his little brother and he would never intentionally hurt him. It had been over a week since he'd told their dad about Ethan being bullied and since then Ethan hasn't talked to Cal. Since then Ethan was still getting bullied, but since Ethan had shut Cal out, he hadn't been able to look after him. And Ethan hadn't come to him when he was upset. Cal missed Ethan coming to him for comfort. When Ethan had come to him it made Cal feel like he was needed, like he was doing his job at being a big brother. But, now Ethan would just shut him out whenever he tried to talk to him. Cal picked up Ethan's notebook he'd left and dragged his feet back inside the house. Climbing up the stairs he saw the door to their bedroom was closed. Cal shook his head. Ethan probably had locked it. Standing in front of the door, Cal knocked gently. No answer. He tried again more loudly this time. Again nothing. He knelt down to peer under the door frame.

"Ethan. Please, let me in." Cal called out.

Nothing.

"I've got your notebook for you." Cal said trying to get him to open the door.

"Stick it under the door then." Ethan muttered.

"It won't fit."

"Yes, it will."

It then went silent again.

"Nibbles…." Cal strained out.

"I'm not letting you in."

"Oh, come on. Please, I want to help."

"I don't need your help."

"How about we watch a film? It can be anything you want. We can watch it tonight and stay up all night. I won't tell mum and dad. What do you think?"

"That's not going to work."

"What?" Cal pretended to ask innocently.

"You know what. Bribing me to let you in won't work."

"Well, at least you're talking to me."

"Only because I want you to go away."

"You don't mean that, Eth."

"Go away!"

Suddenly an idea came into Cal's head. Crouching down a bit further until his mouth was fully up against the gap between the door frame and the floor, Cal began to sing.

"Naaaaaaaants ingonyama bagithi baba. Sithi uhm ingonyama. Naaaaaants ingonyama bagithi baba. Sithi uhm ingonyama. Ingonyama. Siyo Nqoba

Ingonyama. Ingonyama nengw' enamaba….."

"Cal, stop it!" Ethan shouted.

"Nope. I won't stop until you let me in." Cal replied with a grin even though Ethan couldn't see him.

"Naaaaaaaants ingonyama bagithi baba…" Cal was cut off as the door swung open and he saw Ethan standing there, arms on hips.

Cal tried to not laugh as he saw Ethan was trying to do his best to not smile.

"I knew you couldn't keep me out." Cal jumped up and pulled him into a tight hug.

"That's because you're making the neighbour's dog howl." Ethan lied.

"Course it is." Cal smiled.

Ethan smiled against Cal's shoulder. He knew he couldn't keep Cal out forever and he was glad Cal hadn't given up on him. Even when he was angry he still wanted his big brother. Ethan wrapped his own arms around Cal and hugged him back.


	5. Chapter 5 Misunderstanding

16 year old Cal stood with his friends in the school playground one Friday afternoon. They were busy talking about going to party Saturday even when one boy, Thomas Wilde saw a boy standing not too far behind them watching their conversation.

"Hey, Cal?" Thomas indicated with his head. "Isn't that your brother?"

Cal peered over his shoulder. He saw Ethan creep back into the shadows of the trees. He nodded.

"Yeah, that's Ethan." He replied.

"What's wrong with him?" Thomas asked.

"Don't know."

"Then why is he watching us?"

"He does that sometimes."

"Well, it's a bit odd. He is a bit weird, if you know what I mean?"

"Don't talk about him like that." Cal snapped protectively.

"Sorry, mate. But it is true."

"Doesn't it bother you?" Andrew added.

"What?" Cal asked still looking at his brother.

"That he spends most of his time hanging out wherever you are." Andrew responded.

Cal shrugged. Yes, it did bother him that Ethan spent most of his days with him, but he was used to it. Things at home lately had been difficult. Their parents were arguing regularly and whenever there was an argument his dad would take his anger out on Ethan. Cal had no idea why his dad took his anger out Ethan but, he did. Since then Ethan would stay close to him. Probably because with Cal he felt safe and Cal was pleased Ethan could still come to him when he needed to.

"You know other students will start talking if he carries on hanging around us." Thomas said.

"Yeah, so what?" Cal asked.

"Mate, it's gonna give us a bad name. I don't to be teased because we have some nerdy kid in our group." Thomas answered.

Cal glared at him. If only he knew what Ethan had went through, then he wouldn't have said what he'd just said.

"Look mate, we know he's your brother and all but, don't you think it's time he went with his own group?" Andrew suggested.

"I guess." Cal said.

But, what Cal didn't realise was that Ethan had overheard their conversation and had misunderstood his answer. Once school bell had rung signalling it was time to go home Cal stood by the school gates waiting for Ethan. Usually Ethan would have come out a few seconds after him, but this time he hadn't. Cal didn't worry. Ethan was probably talking to his teacher about some upcoming assignment or something. 5 minutes later still no sign of Ethan. Now getting worried, Cal decided head home to see if he must have missed his brother for some reason. On the way he couldn't see Ethan up ahead. Cal thought it was strange.

"Mum? Dad?" Cal called out as he entered the hallway.

"Hi, son." His dad answered back.

"You haven't seen Ethan, have you?" Cal asked him.

"No. Why? What's your brother done now?" His dad sighed.

"Nothing. It's just that I didn't seem him come out of school today and I was wondering if he came home by himself."

"Well, I haven't seen him. But, if you do, can you please tell him he's got to stop crying whenever he gets upset by something. He needs to man up."

Cal felt a bubble of anger boil up in his stomach, but not wanting to make his dad angry he just nodded his head. He then went into the kitchen where he saw his mother cooking dinner.

"Cal." She smiled. "How was school?"

"Oh, you know. Same as always." Cal told him. "You haven't seen Ethan?"

"No, I haven't. But, I think he went upstairs." She replied turning back to the dinner.

Cal grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge on his way upstairs. Upon entering the room, Cal saw his brother lying on his bed looking up to the ceiling.

"Where did you go?" Cal asked sitting on the edge of his own bed.

"I hate you." Came Ethan's reply.

Cal blinked a few times by the words.

"I'm sorry?" Cal asked.

"I said I hate you." Ethan repeated.

"What have I done now?" Cal inquired as he walked over to where Ethan lay.

"I heard what your friends were saying about me."

"You did?" Cal said quietly.

"Yeah, I did." Ethan snapped back. "And I also heard what you said. You agreed with them that I was weird. That I was a nuisance."

"Wh-what?" Cal stuttered.

"You heard me."

"You must have misunderstood me, Eth."

"I don't think I did. I heard what you said. I heard what Thomas and Andrew said."

"Oh, Ethan." Cal sighed. "I didn't mean to upset you. I wasn't agreeing with what they said about you being weird or a nuisance. I was agreeing with them about you hanging out with some of your friends."

Ethan sat up crossed his legs and faced his brother.

"You know I don't have any friends."

"That's not true, Eth. What about Scott? He's nice."

"Yeah, he's nice."

"But?"

"I don't know. I just don't think he likes me."

"Okay, well what about Adam?"

"Adam Hunter?"

"Yeah, he hangs out with you."

Ethan shrugged. Cal sat down next to him.

"Is it really that bad?" Cal whispered.

Ethan slowly nodded his head. Cal knew how bad Ethan had it since his father had been losing his temper, but he didn't realise it was this bad.

"I'm sorry, Eth." Cal told him sincerely.

"Why? It isn't your fault." Ethan replied frankly.

"You should have said something."

"I didn't want to trouble you."

"You wouldn't have troubled me. Ethan. I'm your brother. You come to me whenever you want to. I'll always listen to you."

"Thanks, Cal." Ethan smiled.

"So we're alright?" Cal asked worriedly.

"We'll always be alright." Ethan told him honestly.

Cal playfully nudge him and chuckled. Ethan gave a slight chuckle too.


	6. Chapter 6 He's A Monster

It was Cal's third year at medical school. He was really excited about becoming a doctor but, what he was really looking forward to was the nights out in the local pubs. The academic side of stuff was never really Cal's forte, it was more Ethan's cup of tea. He was just about to head with a group of uni friends when his mobile rang. He picked it up and saw it was his mum calling.

"Mum, everything alright?" Cal said cheerfully.

It wasn't until he heard a sob coming from the end of the phone he knew something had happened.

"What is it?" Cal asked, a knot now forming in his stomach.

"It's your brother, Cal." She cried.

"Ethan?"

"He's been taking to the hospital. You better come quick."

Even though Cal didn't know the full story of what happened he had a pretty good idea who had harmed him. Cal told his mum he would get there as soon as he could. Thankfully, Cal had a car so he didn't have to wait for a taxi or get a bus. He raced towards the hospital. Bursting through the doors Cal spotted his mum waiting in the relative's room.

"Oh, Cal!" She cried into her son's arms.

"Mum, what happened? How bad is he?"

His mum shook her head.

"I don't know. The doctors are treating him at the moment. Someone should be along shortly, though."

Just then the door opened and a doctor dressed in green scrubs entered.

"Hello, Mrs. Hardy. My name is Dr. Daniels, I will be treating your son. And who is this?" He asked turning towards Cal.

"Oh, this is my eldest." His mum replied.

"How is he?" Cal asked after Ethan.

"Your brother is stable. However, I'm afraid he's suffered a severe head injury and a few broken ribs. We'll need to keep him in for overnight observation just to make sure."

"Can we go and see him?" His mum asked.

"I'll just go and check with one of the nurse."

The two of them nodded as Dr. Daniels left the room. A few seconds later Dr. Daniels returned and they followed him into a private room where Ethan was being kept.

"He's asleep at the moment, but you can stay with him until he awakes." The doctor said standing aside and letting them enter.

Inside they were surrounded by the steady beating of the machines. His mum walked over to Ethan's bedside and sat down in a chair taking her youngest's hand in hers. Cal stood by the door with his arms crossed in front of him.

"Did he do this to Ethan?" Cal asked.

His mum didn't answer.

"Mum!" Cal shouted. "Did he do this?" He repeated more angrily.

Again his mum didn't respond. Her silence confirmed what he had thought.

"Was he drinking again?" Cal said.

"He's just been a bit stressed lately." His mum excused his dad's behaviour.

"That doesn't excuse him from lashing out on Ethan!" Cal yelled at his mother. "Why do you always do this? Why do you always defend him?"

"He doesn't mean it." His mum sighed.

"He needs to stop drinking before he kills himself."

"He doesn't drink all the time."

"He drinks everyday, mum. He needs to stop before he hurts either you or Ethan."

"He would never hurt me."

"Oh, please." Cal scoffed. "Looks what happened to Ethan."

"Ethan just got in the way. If Ethan hadn't been standing behind him he wouldn't have got hurt."

"You can't put the blame on him."

"I'm not putting the blame on him." His mum said. "All I'm saying is your dad didn't mean to hurt your brother."

"Here we go again. You can't keep making excuses for him." Cal told her.

"I'm not making excuses for him."

Just then the door opened.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Cal stood up and strolled over to his father.

"I've come to see my son."

"Well, this is what you've done to your son." Cal pointed towards the bed. "You've got a nerve showing your face here after what you've done to him!"

"Cal, please." His mum intervened.

"Someone has to stand up to him. You won't."

"Caleb Hardy, you do not use that tone of voice with your mother." His dad warned him.

"Why? What are you going to do about it, dad? You going to hit me like you did to Ethan?"

"You watch your mouth, son."

"Don't you dare call me son!" Cal shouted in his dad's face. "You're a monster! I never want to be your son. Not when you do something like this to my brother!"

"Cal, calm down." His mum begged.

"No, I won't calm down. He needs to get out of here or I'll ask a doctor to call security to escort you out of the hospital."

"I'm not going to be escorted out of the hospital because I want to stay with my son."

"I'm not going to let you anywhere near him." Cal stood in front of his dad.

"Get out of my way, Cal!" His dad raised his voice.

Cal stood his ground. He wasn't going to let his dad pass him. He was never going to lay a finger on Ethan ever again. His mum could see it was escalating so she go out of her chair.

"Steve, come. Let's go and get a coffee while Cal calms down." His mum led his dad out of the room.

"Yes, Cal needs to calm down." His dad agreed.

Cal was fuming. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Yes, he was mad beyond words at what his dad had done to Ethan, but what was even more shocking was the fact that his mum was defending his dad for his actions. Cal sat in the vacant chair Ethan.

"You're going to be just fine, Eth. You don't ever have to be afraid again. Only 2 more months until you finish school. Then I'll come and we can live together away from dad. I know you'll have hard time leaving mum, but you'll be able to still see her. I just don't want you anywhere near him. He won't ever hurt you again. I promise."

Cal remained by Ethan's side until the next day.


	7. Chapter 7 He Means Nothing to Us

The next day Ethan was discharged. However, not wanting him to go back home with his dad, Cal took him back to his until his mum had told his dad to get some help with his drinking. Once they got inside Cal's flat, Cal helped Ethan to the sofa. Ethan was still a bit sore and so he needed to be careful with what he did. As Ethan sat on the sofa Cal went into the kitchen to get them two bottles of beer.

"Cal, you know dad's not going to pleased when he knows what you've done." Ethan told him as Cal sat down beside him.

"I don't care about dad. All I care about is you." Cal replied. "He shouldn't have done what he did to you."

"He didn't mean to."

"That's what mum said. Eth, you know he's drinking too heavily. Mum needs to get him some help before he does some serious damage."

"He gets angry at mum too."

"Does he hit her as well?" Cal asked shocked.

Ethan nodded slightly.

"That's why you both need to get out."

"Mum won't leave him."

I know. But, she's in denial. You need to convince her to leave him."

Just then their conversation was interrupted by a loud banging at the front door.

"CAL!" Their dad shouted through. "I KNOW ETHAN'S IN THERE! IF YOU DON'T OPEN UP THIS DOOR I'M GOING TO KNOCK IT DOWN AND TAKE HIM HOME WITH ME!."

"I'm not letting you any where near him!" Cal shouted back. "And if you knock the door down I'll phone the police."

"You wouldn't dare. Not on your own dad."

Cal took at his mobile and began dialling 999.

"I'm calling them now." Cal warned their dad.

"Fine. I'll go, but this is not over yet, Cal!" their dad threatened.

Double checking that their dad had actually gone, Cal walked over to the door and peaked through the eye hole. Cal locked the door and bolted the chain across it to be on the safe side. He then turned back around only to find Ethan had fallen asleep. Smiling to himself, Cal gently rearranged Ethan on the sofa so he was comfortable and then threw a blanket over him. Taking off his brother's glasses, Cal placed them on the coffee table. Switching off all the lights, Cal headed to his own bedroom. The next morning, Cal woke up with a stiff arm. He opened his eyes to see that somehow in the middle of the night Ethan had clambered into his bed and was now asleep in his arms. Cal smiled. Gently lifting his arm from under Ethan's head, careful not to disturb his sleep Cal crept out the bed. Going to the kitchen he looked into the fridge to see what he could rustle up for him and Ethan to have for breakfast. The fridge was practically empty so he decided to go out to the shops. Quickly scribbling a note for Ethan he grabbed his keys and jacket. Shutting the door quietly behind him Cal walked down the street, unaware the hidden in the shadows bad news was waiting.

Cal returned an hour later with two bags full of shopping. Upon entering the house a sudden feeling washed over him. It seemed awfully quiet. Then something caught his eye. The carpet was dishevelled and a few photo frames were on the floor as if there had been a struggle. Fear crept up on him and Cal dropped the bags before rushing into his bedroom. Ethan was not there. Storming back to the kitchen he saw something he hadn't seen when he entered. Stuck on the back of the front door was a piece of paper. Pulling it off, Cal immediately recognised the handwriting. It read:

 _This is the last time you'll ever see your brother again._

Cal screamed smashing his fist against the door. He should have known what his dad planned to do. He probably should have woken Ethan up but, he didn't. Now fearing for not only his brother's safety but, his mum's Cal dialled 999. His dad wouldn't be allowed to get away with this. Cal would not stop searching until he knew his brother and mum was alright.

"999 operator. What service do you require?"

"I'd like to report a missing person and an assault."

10 minutes later two uniformed policemen sat in Cal's flat taking down notes while Cal explained to them what had happened between Ethan and their dad. Having received the full details of the incident, the two policemen informed Cal they would do everything they could to make sure his brother was found. But, Cal couldn't just sit around and wait for news to arrive. He decided to go in search for his brother by himself. Once the two policemen left the flat Cal grabbed his jacket and went out to look for Ethan.

Meanwhile back at his parents' house Steve was watching the TV when there was a knock at the front door. Matilda went to open. She was surprised to see two policemen standing in front of her.

"Mrs. Hardy?" One of the policemen asked her.

"Yes?"

"I'm PC Jones and this is my colleague, PC Devlin. We were wondering if your husband is in?"

"Can I ask what this is about?"

"We would like to speak to your husband if that's alright, Ma'am." PC Jones told her.

"Steve." Matilda called to her husband.

"Yes, what is it?" Her husband appeared beside her and saw the two policemen.

"This is PC Jones and PC Devlin, Steve. They need to speak with you." Matilda informed him.

"What seems to be the problem?" Steve turned to the policemen.

"We have reason to believe that your son, Ethan Hardy is missing and has been in an assault." PC Jones explained to him.

"And what has that got to do with me?" Steve asked, not liking what the police were insinuating.

"We have been informed you have been involved in your son's disappearance."

"There must be some mistake." Matilda said looking at them.

"There's no mistake, Ma'am." PC Devlin said.

"We would like you to come down to the station with us." PC Jones told Steve.

"What for?"

"It's just a formality."

"I have got nothing to say." Steve replied.

"Sir, if you have nothing to hide, then there's no need to worry."

"I said I've got nothing to say to you." Steve snapped.

"If you don't come with us voluntarily," PC Devlin explained. "We are going to have to caution you."

Steve wasn't having any of it. He was about to slam the door in the two policemen's faces when PC Jones put his arm out and stopped the door from closing. PC Devlin then grabbed Steve's arms behind his back.

"Steve Hardy, I'm arresting you for the disappearance and assault of Ethan Hardy. You do not have to say anything. Something you may rely on later in court. Anything you do say may be used in evidence against you."

The two policemen led Steve to the waiting police car. Matilda stood watching as her husband was driven away, tears rolling down her cheeks. At the police station while being questioned Steve denied everything he was accused of.

"Sir, we have reason to believe you were involved in your son's accident. An accident that led him being hospitalised. Do you deny any involvement?" A DS Lewis demanded.

"No comment."

"Your other son, Caleb Knight informed us you regularly lose your temper with his mum and brother. How often do you lose your temper?" DS Lewis questioned further.

"No comment." Steve repeated.

"For the tape, I must confirm that Mr. Hardy is refusing to comment to any questions posed towards him." DS Lewis said.

Just then the door to the interview room opened and a policewoman entered. DS Lewis got up while his constable remained seated.

"DS Lewis has just left the room. Interview suspended at 13.15" DC Brooks said.

Minutes later DS Lewis returned.

"DS Lewis has returned. Interview recommenced at 13.20."

"Mr. Hardy, we have been informed your son has been found. He's been admitted to hospital were a sample of DNA has been taken from his injuries. We would like to take a sample of your DNA to clear your name." DS Lewis informed him.

Cal and his mum sat beside Ethan. He was unconscious and was now in a coma. Neither of them had any idea if he was ever going wake up.

"How could I have let this happen to him?" Matilda said.

"Oh, mum." Cal said. "This isn't your fault."

"But, it is. I knew your dad was drinking too much. I just never thought it would get this bad."

"You should have listened to me in the first place. He needed to get help."

"I know. But, how could I? I was scared."

"It's going to be alright now, mum."

"Sorry, to bother you." A young nurse told them. "But, the police are here to see you, Mrs. Hardy."

Matilda nodded her thanks. She then left Cal to stay with Ethan.

"Everything's going to be fine, Nibbles." Cal whispered. "Just stay strong for me and mum. You'll pull through this."

Matilda soon returned. Cal turned towards her and saw her nod her head.

"Your dad's been charged with Ethan's assault."

Cal turned back to Ethan and stroked his hair.

"It's okay, little brother. He means nothing to us now. It's just going to be the three of us from now on."


	8. Chapter 8 Birthday Celebrations

**_Sorry it's been a while since I've updated this story but, I have been having writer's block for a few of my unfinished stories but, it seems that I've got a few more ideas up my sleeves. I hope these next few short stories are going to be just as good as the previous ones. Still I hope you enjoy them :)_**

Ethan sat in a wheelchair with his brother sitting in front of him.

"You know, Nibbles?" Cal said, "Once you're out of that thing I'm going to give you the best night out ever."

Cal smirked when he heard Ethan groan in response.

"No, when I'm out of this I'm going to get back into studying from my entrance exams."

"Ugh, why do you have to be such a nerd? For once in your life have a bit of fun. Let your hair down."

"And what? Have mum find us both drunk?"

Ethan shook his head.

"I don't think so."

"You're 21, Eth. A big milestone. And it needs to be celebrated in style."

"No, way. You saw how furious mum was with you when you celebrated your 21st." Ethan reminded him.

Cal chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, I remember. But, come on she wasn't that mad."

"You wrecked the living room."

"It got cleaned up."

"Yeah, by me. You told mum you had to 'study' for your upcoming medical exams."

"Which was true."

"It was. But, if I recall you missed your exams the next day because you were hung over."

"Oh, come on, Ethan! You only get to be 21 once." Cal told him. "Look, if you let me throw you a party then I promise you it won't end up the way it did on my 21st. And I even let you watch one of your boring documentaries for your birthday present. What do you say?"

Ethan gave him a wary look. He knew he couldn't trust Cal on his word. However, since he was stuck in a wheelchair he couldn't really argue with his brother.

"Fine." Ethan replied reluctantly. "I let you organize a party. But, you have to swear that it won't involve alcohol or any other thing you get up to."

"I already said it won't."

Ethan sighed as Cal gave him a quick nudge and left the room.

7 o'clock came. Ethan was sat in the living room waiting for Cal to arrive. Earlier that afternoon he had gone out to get a few pieces for the celebrations. It wasn't long before Ethan heard a key in the door and Cal entered with a bag in each hand.

"Please, don't tell me you got beers." Ethan said.

"Oh, don't worry, Nibbles. It's just a few snacks and non-alcoholic drinks."

Ethan felt the sofa dip down as Cal came and slumped into the empty seat. He started putting out all the plastic bags and bottles.

"I'll just get us a few glasses." Cal said.

Having returned with the glasses Cal began pouring Ethan a drink. However, what Ethan didn't know was that Cal had sneaked in a small bit of vodka into his glass and was now pouring tonic water to mask the taste.

"Happy birthday, little brother." Cal announced.

"Thanks, Cal. But I don't think that word is appropriate now. I'm 21 after all."

"You may be 21, but you'll always be my little brother." Cal replied as he ruffled his brother's hair.

Once the two of them had a bite to eat, they settled down to watch one of Ethan's documentaries on World War II. It was going well even though Cal was trying his best to not fall asleep during the film. But, what Cal didn't know was how it was going to go down hill from then on. They were now on episode 6 of the BBC documentary when Ethan suddenly sat up and placed a hand on his chest. Cal noticed his brother's sudden movement.

"Eth?" Cal asked worriedly. "What is it?"

Ethan shook his head and began to rub circles over his chest.

"I don't know. I don't feel to good at the moment."

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No, it will pass."

It didn't. Ethan still felt a bit weird and soon he felt a bit nauseous. Feeling like he was going to be sick he got up and walked to the bathroom. Entering the bathroom he felt light-headed. He wobbled slightly as he walked over to the sink, but managed to reach it before feeling his legs buckle beneath him. Everything then went black as he fell to the floor. Back outside Cal still sat on the sofa wondering if Ethan was alright. It had been over 10 minutes since Ethan had left to go to the bathroom. So far, Cal hadn't heard any movement nor had he heard Ethan being sick. Sensing something was up Cal decided to check his brother. He knocked slightly on the door.

"Ethan?"

He received no answer. He tried again. Still no answer. Turning the door knob he found it to be unlocked. He pushed the door slightly. He was met with a frightening sight.

"Ethan!"

Cal rushed over to his brother who was collapsed on the cold floor. Blood was trickling down from a small laceration to the head. Cal attempted to shake his brother but, soon thought better of it. His medical training kicked in. He mustn't move Ethan in the slightest just in case he had hurt his neck when he fell. Cal leant over checking his vital signs. He could feel a pulse although faint.

"It's okay." Cal whispered. "I'm just going to call an ambulance. I'll be right back."

A few seconds later, Cal came back.

"Ambulance on its way, Eth."

It didn't take long for the paramedics to arrive. Soon Ethan was in the back of the ambulance with Cal holding his hand. Once inside the ED Ethan was rolled into a Resus before being transferred to a cubicle. In a chair, Cal sat fidgeting constantly looking at the monitors that were keeping track of Ethan's vitals. As third year med student, the environment was all too familiar to him and it made him think about his future. Five more years till he becomes a qualified doctor and seeing his brother hooked up to machines reminded him of why he became a doctor in the first place. It was to help people get better. For what like hours but was only 15 minutes a doctor arrived with results.

"How is he, doctor?" Cal asked.

"I'm pleased to inform you that your brother is doing well. When he wakes up he'll be able to go home."

"Thank you."

With that the doctor leaves them alone.

"Cal?" Ethan groaned when he woke up.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Where am I?"

"You're in hospital. But, you're okay. We can go home now."

By the time the taxi had arrived at their house Ethan had fallen asleep. Cal had to carry his brother in and even though he was not a baby anymore he still was easy to carry. Tucking his brother into bed, Cal went back into the living room. He had just fallen asleep when he was woken up.

"Caleb Hardy! What have you done?" His mother's voice echoed through the room.

"Nothing." Cal replied as he rubbed his eyes.

"Don't give me that. I just got a phone call telling me my son had been admitted to hospital. Then when I arrived they informed me he was discharged and had gone home with his brother. What happened?"

"He just fainted."

"Just fainted? You don't just faint. So how did he faint?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? I know you organized a party for him. Did you bring any alcohol?"

"No."

"Caleb?"

Cal sighed.

"Okay." Cal began. "I might have slipped in a bit of vodka in his drink."

The moment Cal said those words he could see his mother was fuming.

"You did what? Cal, how could you?"

"I didn't know he was going to react badly. He only had a tiny amount."

"It doesn't matter how much he had. You're supposed to know better. You're 2 years older than him."

"I'm sorry, mum. I just wanted him to have fun. It's not everyday you get to be 21. "

"That's no excuse. You know he doesn't react well to alcohol."

Cal knew when to stop arguing with his mum so he then left and went to his own room. On his way he stopped outside his brother's room. Opening the door ajar he peered in. His brother was still asleep.

"I'm sorry, Ethan."


	9. Chapter 9 Parting Ways

Ethan had passed his entrance exams and was now training to be a doctor just like his big brother. Training to be a doctor was everything he could have imagined. He was excited about learning new things and looking forward to having his rotation on different wards. But, what excited him a bit more was the fact that he could see his brother. Ethan sat in the big reception at the med school waiting for Cal to finish one his lectures.

"Ethan!" Cal called over as he came out of the lecture hall.

Ethan smiled.

"How's the first day of med school going, Nibbles?" Cal asked.

"Cal, don't call me that. And first day is going great. Can't wait to get started."

"Since this is your first day, why don't I take you out?"

Ethan nodded in agreement. The two of them stopped at a local café. Finding a seat by the window, Cal went off to order. Coming back he arrived with a coffee and a slice of carrot cake for Ethan while he just had a coffee. It was unusual for Cal to be treating him unless he wanted something so he was a bit suspicious.

"Cal, what's going on?" Ethan inquired.

"Nothing. I just wanted to treat you. Celebrate your first day at becoming a doctor."

"Come on, Cal. I know what you're like. What's up?"

Cal bowed his head. He knew breaking the news to his brother was going to be difficult but, he was going to have to know.

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I've decided to go on a gap year."

"Why?"

"I'm not cut out to be a doctor. Never have been."

"What makes you say that?"

"You know it's true, Eth. I've never been cut out for anything. Dad was right. I'm useless."

"Oh, Cal." Ethan sighed. "Don't listen to what Dad said. Dad isn't here. You'll make a great doctor."

"No, I won't, Ethan."

"Well, if you quit then I'll quit too."

"No. You'll make a great doctor. Even a better one than me. You're going to stay, Ethan and in the future become the world's best consultant."

"But, Cal, you can't go. You can't leave me. What am I supposed to do without my big brother?"

"You'll be fine, Nibbles. And I'll only be a phone call away."

"Where are you going to go?"

"Don't know. Might travel the world. Travel around Europe. I've always wanted to go to Paris."

"Paris?"

"Yeah, you know the food, sights, girls."

Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Always the girls." He said.

"Yeah, always the girls." Cal smiled cheekily.

"And does mum know?"

Cal nodded.

"I told her a few months ago."

"A few months ago? Why didn't you tell me then?" Ethan asked.

It hurt him to know that Cal had kept this from him for so long.

"I knew you were anxiously waiting for your results and I didn't want to ruin it for you by telling you I was leaving."

"Are you coming back?"

Cal shrugged. Honestly he didn't know and he didn't know if he ever would want to.

"I don't know."

Cal could see tears form in his brother's eyes. He broke his heart to see his brother upset, but Cal knew at this moment in time he needed to clear his head and figure out what he wanted with his life.

"Look, Ethan, I know it's hard but, I promise you this. When I have enough money to buy a place of my own I'll come back."

Ethan smiled.

"You won't forget me, will you?"

Cal gave him a quick nudge.

"Course I won't. You're my little brother and always will be. Don't worry, Nibbles. I won't be too far."


	10. Chapter 10 Just Like Dad

Ethan and his mum sat in the dining room. The table was all set up with a roast turkey, gravy, Yorkshire puddings and vegetables.

"I don't think he's coming, mum." Ethan said quietly.

Matilda looked towards the empty seat on her left.

"No, I don't think he's coming." She repeated in a whisper.

Dinner was soon over. Matilda was fast asleep in the living room with the Queen's speech on in the background while Ethan was in the kitchen doing the washing up. Once all the dishes were cleaned and dried, Ethan walked back into the living room. He smiled. After placing a blanket over his mum, he quietly closed the door behind him. Just as the door closed there was a knock at the door. Opening it Ethan was met with a surprise.

"Cal."

"Hiya, Ethan. Long time no see."

"It's been 5 years, Cal."

Cal gave a sigh.

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Ethan scoffed. "It's been 5 years since we saw you. And all you can say is you're sorry?"

"Don't be mad at me, Nibbles."

"Don't call me that."

"Look, I wanted to come. I wanted to see you and mum, but I couldn't."

"Why?"

"I didn't have enough money."

"You didn't have enough money? Come off it, Cal. From what we heard in your letters and emails, when you could be bothered to write was that you certainly had enough money to go out and get drunk."

"Please, Eth…."

"No. So tell me why didn't you come?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll tell you why. I just didn't want to come back."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"I don't."

"I didn't want to come back and face mum. She was always going on at me for quitting med school and going travelling."

"So you're blaming mum for your lack of communication?"

"No."

"Well, it certain seems like it."

"It's not that. It just that she kept saying I was just like dad."

"You are just like dad."

"I'm nothing like dad and I don't ever want to be. He was a useless waste of space. Look how he treated you and mum."

"I don't think mum meant you're like dad in that way. I'm sure she was talking about what a great doctor he was. Which he was."

"I don't care a if he was a great doctor or not. He could have been a great lawyer or teacher for all I care. I still don't want to be like him."

"But, how is finishing med school and becoming a doctor going to make you like dad?"

"You saw what work did to dad. You saw him when he got stressed. He lashed out at mum and you, Ethan. I don't ever want to do that. It scared me when he did it to mum. It scared me even more when he did it to you."

"Oh, Cal. You won't be like dad in that way. You never will."

"How can you be so sure? We all thought dad was never like that. But, that wasn't until he started working in ED and becoming a consultant. How do you know it won't happen to me?"

"Because if it were to happen to you, then surely it would happen to me."

"But, you're nothing like dad. I am."

"It doesn't work like that though. Dad dealt with the stress the only way he knew how to."

"That's no excuse for what he did to you or to mum."

"I'm not excusing him for he did. I'm just saying we all deal with stress differently."

"But, I don't deal with stress differently, Eth. I do exactly what dad did. I get drunk. And sure it scares me that I go out and get drunk, yet what scares me even more is that maybe one day I'll come home totally out of it and lash out at either you or mum. I swore to myself that I wouldn't let anything happen to you, two. But, how can I protect you from myself?"

"You'll never hurt mum or me."

"You don't know that. Stress and alcohol does strange things to people. Look how it affected dad. I'm not going to be like him. Never."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm not coming back."

"But, you promised."

"I'm sorry, Eth. I just can't come back."

"So why are you back?"

"I needed to see you."

"Needed to see me? And what about mum? Don't you think she deserves to see you before you leave?"

Cal shook his head.

"No. She won't understand."

"She won't understand? What about me? I don't understand."

"Please, don't make this harder than it already is. I can't stay here."

Cal noticed there were tears forming in his brother's eyes. It only reminded him how hard it was for him to say goodbye to his brother the last time he told him he was going away. But, he knew this was the best decision. He didn't want to end up like his dad. While he cared about his mum, he cared more about Ethan and would never want to hurt him the way their dad did.

"Please, Cal. Don't go." Ethan pleaded.

"I have too."

Ethan cast his head towards the floor. Tears fell down his cheeks. Seeing his brother upset broke his heart. Cal brought Ethan against his chest and wrapped his arms around him.

"I love you, Nibbles. Don't you ever forget that." Cal whispered in his ear.


	11. Chapter 11 Becoming Like Dad

_Saturday night..._

Raised voices could be heard as well as glasses smashing against a wall.

"FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE LEARN TO MAN UP!" Cal shouted.

Ethan stood in the middle of the living room, hands shaking. He had only come to see how Cal was settling in now that he decided to come back and finish med school. But, when he entered the apartment he saw beer bottles every where. And saw Cal slumped on the sofa. Ethan sighed when he saw the sight in front of him. Ever since Cal had started school he began to go out every night even when he had lectures or exams the next day. One time Ethan had found him too hung over at school and told him to go home. Now here he was drinking.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Ethan asked his brother, trying to stop his voice from breaking.

"Don't be such a goody goody, Nibbles." Cal slurred. "Have a drink."

"No, thank you. Anyway you've got an exam tomorrow."

"Ah, don't worry about that. It will all be fine. I'll pass it." Cal continued to slur.

"I still think you've had enough to drink." Ethan said once more.

Cal just ignored him. He took the last sip from the bottle and opened another one. Ethan was at the final straw. He strode over to his brother and tried to grab the bottle away. But, Cal wasn't about to let go. They began to tussle back and forth. Both of them soon landing on the floor, Cal on top of Ethan.

"What is wrong with you?" Ethan screamed.

"You know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm sick of people telling me what I can and can't do. I'm sick of mum telling me what I can do and I'm sick of you telling me what I can do."

"Well, someone's got to tell you. You're just like dad!"

Before Cal knew what he had done he felt the glass bottle smash across Ethan's face and break when it made contact with his glasses.

"Ethan." Said Cal in disbelief. "I'm sorry."

Ethan pushed Cal off him and backed away from him.

"Don't come anywhere near me." Ethan warned.

Cal looked towards his brother then down to his hands. There was blood on him. Ethan's blood. He looked back up. Ethan was gone. Cal sighed. Why did he have to let the drink get the better of him? Ethan was right. He was just like their dad and that was one thing he swore he'd never become. Looking down at the blood once more, Cal felt a chill go up his spine. He had hurt his brother, something Cal swore he would never let happen. He had told Ethan that his dad would never let him hurt him again and now he'd done exactly the same thing.


	12. Chapter 12 Making Amends

_Sunday morning..._

Cal was jolted awake by a loud knocking at the door. Wiping the sleep away from his eyes, he pulled himself up and dragged his feet towards the door.

"What the hell have you done this time?" His mum shouted at him when he opened the door.

Cal stood there with a confused look on his face. He was about to open his mouth to answer when his mum interrupted him.

"Don't give me the 'I don't know what you're talking about' excuse again, Cal. I've just got a phone call from the hospital telling me Ethan's been admitted after being found unconscious. "

"Is he alright?"

"He's unconscious. Of course, he's not alright."

"So why aren't you at the hospital?"

"Because I want to know what happened. And I know you were involved."

"Why do you think it has anything to do with me?"

"When it comes to your brother, it usually does have something to do with you."

"Well, thanks mum. I'm glad you think so highly of me."

"Do not use that tone with me, Caleb." His mum scolded. "So tell me what happened? Did you and Ethan have a fight again?"

Cal turned away from her. If Ethan was unconscious because of what he had done, he would never forgive himself. He already blamed himself for hurting his brother but, to have his mum blame him too, well he couldn't deal with that.

"Cal?" His mum said more softly this time.

"Yes, me and Ethan did fight." Cal told her as his voice cracked with emotion. "But, I didn't mean to hurt him. I swear. I just got angry. I had a bottle in my hand and before I knew what happened there was broken glass and blood. I tried to apologize but, Ethan didn't want to hear. He left before I could clean up his head wound. I'm sorry, mum. I'm so sorry."

As those final words came out of his mouth, Cal broke down. It had been years since he had cried. Years since he'd cried in front of his mum. And the realization of what he had done to Ethan finally caught up on him.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to." His mum told him as she held him.

"I know."

"Come on, then. Grab your coat and we'll go see Ethan." His mum said.

"I can't go."

"He'll want to see you when he comes round."

"No, he won't. He won't want to see me after what's happened and who can blame him."

"You're his brother, Cal. He'll forgive you."

Reluctantly, Cal went along with his mum to the hospital. Once again just like all those years ago when Ethan had been admitted because of what their dad had done, Cal sat beside his brother holding his hand. Their mum had decided to give her two sons some alone time so went off to get a coffee.

"Hey, Nibbles." Cal said quietly. " Never thought we'd end up here again. Well, anyway, I don't know if you can hear me but, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess you were right. I guess we both were. I am like dad. I'm a useless waste of space. Dad always said I was and I guess he was right about that too. I drink, I lie and I lash out. I put you and mum through hell and I never apologize. I never admit my mistakes, instead I run. I run away. Dad did that too. He ran when things got messed up. I've been a horrible son. Most of all I've been a horrible brother. I know I've broken so many promises to you over the years, but this time I won't. This time I'll keep my promise. Wake up for me and I'll promise I'll stop. I'll stop drinking, I'll stop telling lies. Please, Eth, just open your eyes."

As if his brother had heard him, Ethan's eyes fluttered opened. A huge smile spread across Cal's face when he saw that his brother was awake.

"I forgive you." Ethan said hoarsely.


	13. Chapter 13 An Unexpected Visit

_Sunday night…._

Cal had just arrived back at his flat after visiting Ethan in the hospital when he felt a presence standing behind him.

"Hello, Caleb." Announced a familiar voice.

It was a voice Cal hadn't heard in at least 12 years. But, he still recognised the gruff tone and it made his blood run cold. He spun around and came face to face with the person he'd swore would never let near him or his family.

"Dad."

"It's good to see you, son."

"Don't call me that." Cal replied as he stepped away from him.

"Well, I have got the right to call you that."

Cal scoffed.

"You lost that right 12 years ago when you assaulted my brother and left him for dead. What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were in prison."

"They let me out for good behaviour."

"Good behaviour?" Cal chuckled. "I doubt that."

Look, Caleb…."

"It's Cal now."

"Right. I've served my sentence, Cal. I've done my time. I just want to make things right."

"Make things right? You've got to be kidding me. You've had over 20 years to make things right. 20 years since you started drinking and you think just because you're out of jail you get to come and act like a proper dad?"

"You're my family. You've all I've got."

Cal shook his head.

"No." Cal told him, "Me, mum and Ethan are all we've got left. You have nothing."

"Come on, Cal. Can't we put the past behind us and start again?"

"Put the past behind us? Why would I want to do that after what you've done to this family? You abused mum, abused Ethan and made me feel like I wasn't worth anything. I am not about to let you walk back into our lives and ruin everything again. You stay away from me. You stay away from mum and most of all, stay away from Ethan."

"Speaking about Ethan, how is your brother?"

"Good, but what does it matter to you? It's not like you care."

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that." His dad said sarcastically, "Because from what I heard your brother's in hospital thanks to you."

Cal glared at him.

"How do you know that?"

"A nurse told me."

"Were you spying on Ethan?" Cal asked, not believing his dad's story.

"No. Like I said a nurse told me."

"They wouldn't do that. Patient confidentiality. I should know."

"Of course, you're a doctor now, aren't you? Just like me in every way." His dad smirked, slyly.

"How dare you!"

Cal charged at his dad and held him against the wall.

"I'm nothing like you!" Cal shouted.

His dad laughed.

"Oh, I think you are. More than you would like to admit."

"How am I like you?"

"I mean look what happened to your brother. He got hurt because of you. He got hurt by the one person he thought he could trust. The one person who swore would never let anything happen to him."

"Ethan can trust me! And for your information, dad, " Cal spat out the last word. "he's forgiven me."

"Why would he forgive you?"

"Well, why shouldn't he forgive me?"

"Cause he didn't forgive me, so what makes you different?"

"Maybe because I'm his brother…."

"I'M HIS FATHER!"

"AT LEAST I SAID SORRY. YOU NEVER DID!"

"Sorry? You've been sorry for anything in your life. Not even when you were younger."

"Well, at least I know when to say sorry."

"So if it's so easy for you to accept your brother's forgiveness then why can't you accept mine?"

"Why should I? You've done nothing but, make my life a misery. Nothing but make all our lives a misery."

"I said I was sorry."

"That's a joke. Never once in your life have you've said sorry. You don't even know the meaning of the word. Now go before I call the police for harassment."


	14. Chapter 14 A Brotherly Moment

Ethan sat at his desk in his room studying. His housemates had all gone out partying and had asked him to come, but he'd declined the offer. Partying wasn't really his thing. He would rather stay at home working on his assignments than going out and getting drunk. He smiled to himself. If Cal had been asked out he would have jumped at the idea. He was just reading a chapter on respiratory problems and pneumothorax when the phone began to ring. Sighing in annoyance, he got up and answered the phone on the wall.

"Yes?"

"Let me in, Ethan. It's freezing out here." Cal's voice answered.

"I can't, I'm busy."

"Busy doing what? Studying? Come on, take a break and let me in."

Breathing deeply, Ethan placed the phone back on the wall and opened the door.

"Geez. Took you long enough."

"You could have knocked if you were that desperate to come in."

"I did. About five times actually, but it would seem, little brother, you couldn't hear me." Cal smirked as he ruffled his brother's hair.

"I suppose you want something to drink." Ethan asked, knowingly.

"You know me so well. Yeah, I'll have a beer."

Ethan nodded and walked into the kitchen while Cal went into the living room. A couple of seconds later Ethan returned with two bottles. One him and the other for Cal.

"Cheers" Cal said as he slumped down on the sofa. "So how's it going? The studying?"

"Yeah, good. But, of course you would know if you actually did any yourself."

"Hey, I do study."

Ethan gives him a glare.

"Okay, not as much as I should. But, I do study."

"So what brings you here?"

"What? I can't come and see my little brother when I want to?"

"It's not that I'm not pleased to see you. I am. It's just that it's not often you come and see me."

"I know. I should though."

"So, why are you here?"

"I thought I take you out for a treat."

"That's kind, Cal, but I've got loads of studying to do."

"Will you stop being a nerd for a few hours and take a break."

"I can't."

"How about I compromise with you?"

"Compromise how?

"You stop studying for today and instead of going out we'll order a take away. Stay here and watch whatever you want."

"Not this again."

"What?"

"You know what will happen. It's exactly like my 21st birthday."

"I promise, Eth, it will be nothing like your 21st."

"You said that last time and look what happened. I ended up in hospital."

"Fine, how about I cook us something then?"

"Cook? Since when do you cook?"

"Hey! My cooking isn't that bad."

"Isn't it?" Ethan laughed, "Do you remember that time when you decided to cook mum something for her birthday?"

"Oh, yeah, I remember." Cal laughed as well. "Mum said it looked better than it tasted and said even though she would eat it up, she hoped in future I didn't cook for her birthday again."

"Yeah, and she said leave the cooking to her."

Reminiscing the two of them laughed. They laughed until their stomachs hurt.

"See it wasn't all bad back then." Ethan reminded him.

"No, it wasn't. But, what dad did to you both was unforgivable." Cal told him.

"I know but, he's not here anymore. So he can't hurt either of us."

"Actually Ethan, that's not true."

"What do you mean it's not true?"

"I didn't want to tell you this, in case it brought on one of your panic attacks, but…." Cal hesitated.

"But, what? Cal, what is it?"

"Dad's here."

"What do you mean he's here? He's in prison."

"No, he's not. He got released a 6 months ago."

"And he's back in Holby?"

Cal nodded.

"But, don't worry. He won't bother us." Cal quickly told his brother.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure.

Ethan felt convinced with his brother's answer and felt the fear lift away. He knew he could trust Cal to protect him from their dad.

"So what about this treat?" Cal asked, breaking the silence that was forming.

Ethan gave him a smile and nodded.

"Great! I'll get cooking then."

Ethan rolled his eyes as he watch Cal go into the kitchen.


	15. Chapter 15 More Shock to Come

Ethan was busy doing some chores when there was a knock at the door. Quickly putting the hoover away he grabbed his coat, keys and opened the door.

"You said 8.00. It's 9.30." Ethan told his brother.

"Well, you know me, Eth. Not too good on the time keeping." Cal grinned as he stood on the doorstep.

"Yeah, well, mum isn't going to be too pleased that we're late."

"I know. So what's this about a celebration?" Cal inquired as the two of them headed to the car.

"No idea, " Ethan answered. "Mum just said she's got something to tell us."

"Ugh, she hasn't got a new boyfriend, has she?" Cal groaned.

"Cal!" Ethan reprimanded him.

"Sorry, but to think that mum's got a new boyfriend and doing all the stuff she did with dad is not something I would like to picture."

"And so what? I'm just glad mum's happy. She deserves at least some happiness after what dad did to her."

"Of course, she does. But, it's just not something you want children to think about. Especially when it's their parents."

"Only you could think about that." Ethan emphasized. "No one else would."

"Fair enough."

The drive to their mum's house took about half an hour. Arriving at the front door the two of them slammed the car doors shut and headed towards the house. In his hand, Ethan held a bouquet of wild flowers while typical Cal had brought a bottle of red wine. Ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door twice, the brother waited to be let in.

"My boys." Matilda said as she smiled at them.

"Hi mum." Ethan said, handing her the flowers. "These are for you."

"Yeah, and this is too." Cal added as he went and gave his mum a kiss.

"Thank you. These flowers are lovely. I'll just put these in water so why don't you two go into the living room." Matilda instructed as she went into the kitchen.

Cal and Ethan headed to the living room. Upon entering they both froze to the spot. Ethan would have fainted from the shock if it hadn't been for Cal standing beside him.

"What the hell?" Cal announced.

Their dad ignored Cal and walked over to his youngest.

"Ethan." Their dad said. "How are you?"

Cal's brotherly instincts took over and he protectively stood in front of Ethan and their dad. Their dad gave a small chuckle.

"It's okay, Cal. I'm not going to hurt him."

"Like I would believe you." Cal told him.

Just then their mum re-entered the room.

"So is this what we're celebrating?" Cal asked angrily as he turned towards her. "The fact that you've let him back into your life. Into our lives?"

"Please, Cal. Your dad has changed. He's stopped drinking." Their mum replied, going over to her husband.

Suddenly something clicked in Cal's mind.

"Were you the one who told him about Ethan?" Cal asked his mum.

When he didn't receive an answer, he lost his temper.

"Mum! Did you tell him that Ethan was in hospital?" Cal asked again, through gritted teeth.

"I did." Matilda admitted quietly.

"I don't believe it." Cal said in disbelief. "How could you?"

"He had the right to know."

"The right to know? He's been in pris….." Cal paused. "Wait, how long have you known?

"Known about what?"

"You know what, mum. How long have you known that he's been out of prison?"

"A few months before he came to see you."

Cal shook his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His mum had known about their dad and after all he had done, she had taken him back.

"How could you?" Cal shouted. "After everything he's done to this family!"

"He's your father."

"Like hell he's our father. He's lost that right when he left Ethan for dead. You're just as bad as he is."

"Caleb!" Their dad warned. "Do not talk to your mother like that."

"What's it got to do with you?" Cal snapped back. "You're the reason why we're having this argument."

"Maybe you're right…" Their dad said.

"Of course I'm right."

"But, what happened in the past was a mistake. I never meant to hurt your mum. Work just got too consuming and stressful that drink was the only way to deal with it. I just let it get out of hand, I know."

"And what about Ethan? Did you mean to hurt him?" Cal asked angrily when his dad didn't even mention his brother's name.

"Your brother was a different matter."

"Are you saying he deserved what he got?" Cal said.

"Yes. You never were cut out to be anything so I had to make sure Ethan would be."

"That still doesn't give you the right to do what you did."

"If Ethan was ever going to become the best doctor he was he would have to learn to man up. Would have to study hard. You never did!"

"So? You abused him. He was 13 years old when you started to abuse him. And you think that was the only way to discipline him? The only way to make him man up?"

His dad didn't answer. Cal then turned to face his mum.

"If you think I'm going to just forgive him and let him walk back into my life, walk back into my brother's life then forget it, mum."

"Cal…." His mum started to say.

Cal shook his head.

"Goodbye, mum." Cal said. "Come on, Eth, let's go home."

Cal turned to take his brother home, but when he turned Ethan was no longer behind him.

"Ethan?" Cal called out. "Where are you?"

No answer.

"Ethan?" Matilda called out. "Please, son, answer us."

Still no answer.

"It's okay, Matilda." Steve said. "You stay here while I'll go look for him."

Steve was about to look for Ethan when Cal stood in front of him.

"You're not going to go anywhere near him." Cal warned him. "You stay away."

Instead Cal went off to look for his brother. Outside the car was still parked so Cal knew Ethan must have walked off somewhere. Getting into the car and driving off, Call began to search. He drove along the roads and side roads hoping to spot Ethan walking. So far he had no luck. While Cal was busy driving along his father had gone out too. Cal had just about given up hope when suddenly he heard a scream. Jumping out of the car and running towards the sound, Cal ran as fast as he could.

"Get away from me!"

Cal could hear Ethan's voice. Then he heard their dad's.

"Come home, Ethan. We were worried about where you were."

"I'm not coming anywhere near you. Get off me!" Ethan yelled again.

By the time Cal reached his destination he heard a smash followed by a grunt. Ethan was out cold on the floor while his dad hovered above him with his arm raised in the air. Just as the arm was about to come back down Cal grabbed his dad's arm.

"GET OFF MY BROTHER!" Cal screamed.

Their dad staggered backwards when he felt his older son grab him.

"Hey, it's okay. I wasn't going to hurt him." Their dad said.

"It certainly didn't look like it from here."

"Well, of course you would say that. You were behind me."

"I know what it looked like. You were about to hit him. Now back off."

Cal then ran to his brother and knelt down beside him. He leant over placing his ear to Ethan's mouth. He was breathing. While Cal was checking his brother for any other injuries he heard his dad approach.

"Go home." Cal said.

Their dad did just that and left them alone.

"It's okay, Ethan. I'm here. He's not going to hurt you." Cal whispered as he waited for his brother to regain consciousness.


	16. Chapter 16 Going Down Hill

_January 2014….._

Ethan sat with his mobile in one hand and the other resting on his knee. He was conflicted. He knew his brother had the right to know what was going on but, at the same time he knew what his brother was like. He would only make up an excuse to not come. On the other hand, Ethan just wanted someone he could talk to. When they were younger he would always go to his brother when something was bothering him or he needed to talk to someone. But, as they grew up their relationship became strained and they rarely talked to each other without their conversation turning into an argument. Ethan would have contacted his dad if he knew where to find him. Making his mind up, he dialed the familiar number.

"It's me." Ethan said into the phone. "If you could find time to tear yourself away from partying, I think you should come down. She's getting worse and I don't know how long she's got left. And if you can actually be bothered then call me."

Ending the voice message, Ethan got lost in his own thoughts. After having a few moments to himself, he stood up and walked back into the hospice. Walking down the corridor he met one of the nurses who was looking after his mum.

"Hi, Jenny." Ethan said. "How is she?"

"She's doing as well as can be expected. She's comfortable and we've increased the dosage of the pain relief to the maximum."

Ethan nodded slowly.

"Can I sit with her?"

"Of course."

Ethan smiled gratefully at Jenny before heading back to the room where his mum was. Pulling up one of those plastic white chairs, Ethan sat down next to her and took her hand in his. It was quite cold to touch, but he knew she was still alive. Just. He began to stroke it just like she did to him whenever he was ill as a kid.

"Mum, it's me." Ethan spoke quietly. "I've called him, but he didn't answer. So I left a message. And when he gets it he'll be here. Don't worry. He'll come."

Ethan sighed. He knew his words were meaningless. He knew what Cal was like but, he was hoping that since his mum's condition was deteriorating at least he would have made an effort to come. Ethan remained by his mum's side for at least another 3 hours until, Jenny came back.

"You should go home, Ethan." Jenny suggested as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't." Ethan spoke.

"Don't worry. I'll call you if he comes."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Ethan told her. "If you knew my brother, you'll know that he'll only come when it suits him and not anyone else."

"That's not true. He'll come."

Ethan gave her a small smile.

"Okay, I'll go home." Ethan said.

After giving his mum a quick kiss on the forehead, Ethan got up and headed home. The hours ticked by and the call Ethan had been expecting never came. The day turned into evening and knowing that his brother would never call back or go see their mum who was seriously ill, Ethan decided it was time to get ready for bed. As he was just about to climb into the bed his phone rang.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I think it's time." Jenny's voice told him at the other. "You should come back down here."

"Alright, I'll be there in 10 minutes." Ethan replied before ending the call.

"Jenny? How is she?" Ethan asked as he walked into the hospice and was met by the nurse.

Jenny shook her head.

"The pain is getting more severe and her vitals are slowing down. It looks like she doesn't have a lot of time left. I think it's about time you said your goodbyes."

"Could you give me a couple of seconds?" Ethan asked, knowing it was now a race against the clock to get his brother down here by his mum's bedside.

Jenny nodded. Leaving Ethan alone she then went back inside the room where Matilda lay breathing her final breaths.

"It's me again. You better get down here as soon as you can. Jenny has said there's not a lot of time left. And I think you should come down here and say goodbye before it's too late."

Ethan hung up and went into the room. Inside it was deadly silent apart from the monotonous beep of the machines. Ethan watched from the doorway as he saw his mum's chest rise and fall as she breathed. Then the beep turned into a flat line signaling that Matilda had breathed her final breath. Ethan couldn't stay in the room any longer and briskly walked away before the tears fell down his cheeks. His mum was dead and his brother couldn't even be bothered to say his last goodbyes to her. How selfish was he? Why did Cal always had to think about himself? Ethan sighed knowingly. He would have to tell him their mum had died. But, he couldn't bring himself to do it, not yet. Not when Cal wasn't even there. Since he couldn't be bothered to come down, Ethan thought to himself, he can wait for a few more hours until he heard the news. The hours went by and finally Ethan decided to call his brother. The phone kept ringing in his ears until Ethan heard a click.

"She's gone."


	17. Chapter 17 Brothers or Not Brothers?

Ethan would have thought that when Cal had heard the news of his mother's passing, he would have come down to help with the funeral arrangements. But, Cal being Cal he didn't. He didn't stay in contact with Ethan. Instead Ethan was left to do everything. While trying to organize the funeral Ethan knew what his brother had done. He knew he would be in some pub drinking away his sorrows instead of actually facing them and grieving properly.

The turn-out for the funeral was quiet small. It consisted of only a few friends and Ethan. The service was lovely and Ethan hoped his mum would have proud. They sung her favourite hymn as well as placed her favourite flower, lilies, on top of the coffin.

"Goodbye, mum." Ethan whispered. "Don't worry, I'll look after him."

"Course you will." Said a voice.

Ethan spun around when he heard the familiar voice of his brother. As soon as he was face to face with Cal, Ethan gave him a glare and was about to lash out on him when he felt Cal grab his wrist.

"Calm down, Ethan." Cal told him.

Ethan gave him another glare.

"Calm down? You missed mum's funeral."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Don't make me laugh." Ethan scoffed. "You're not sorry, though, are you? You were too busy partying or whatever it is you like to do."

"I wasn't partying or doing anything."

"Really? Then what were you doing? You couldn't even be bothered to come and see mum."

"I wanted to."

"But?"

"Well, if you could let me finish a sentence."

"Go on then."

"I wanted to come. I did. I just couldn't bear seeing her. Not the way she was."

"She was our mum. It didn't matter how she was. You still needed to be there."

"It wasn't that easy."

"Oh, here we go again. Excuse after excuse. And do you think it was easy for her? Easy for me? She kept asking after you. Kept asking me 'Ethan when is Cal going to come? I need to see him before I go'. And I had to keep lying to her."

"You didn't have to lie."

"Oh, so it would have been better if I had said to 'I'm sorry mum, but Cal can't see you because he's too busy getting drunk and having one night stands. But, don't worry he'll come when he wants to'."

"It wasn't like that."

By this time Ethan had had enough of Cal 's excuses. He wasn't in the mood to listen to what his brother had to say.

"She wanted to see you, Cal. All you had to do was drive and be by her bedside. But, you couldn't be bothered because you were busy thinking about yourself. Why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"You know what."

"Look, Ethan, I really wanted to come. I just didn't want to come because if I did I knew then I would have to say goodbye. And I didn't want to."

"I don't believe you."

"It's true. I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to mum. At least you did."

"Well, someone had to. I didn't want her to be on her own when she passed away."

"I know and I'm glad you were there when she died."

"Of course you are. Because then it wouldn't have to be you, would it?"

"I know you're mad at me, but please try to understand."

"Try to understand what, Cal? That you've always been too selfish to think about anybody else? That it always have to be about you and how you feel?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what?"

"I've already explained why I didn't come down. Why I couldn't come down."

"So I've heard. But, that is exactly what I mean. It was about you and how you couldn't say goodbye. What about me? Did I ever cross your mind? Did you for once ever stop and think about how it must have been for me to say goodbye to mum?"

When Ethan didn't receive an answer he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Of course I didn't cross your mind. I never do when it comes to you."

"Eth, you know that's not true."

"Oh, I do. Never once in your life have you stopped and think about how I am feeling. It's always been about you, Cal. Always."

"I have stopped and thought about you. You've always been the one I cared about. Ever since we loss contact with dad and mum got ill, you've all I've been thinking about. You are my little brother and you mean everything to me." Cal admitted.

"If I mean that much to you, then why didn't you even bother to call or come by when mum became ill? I could have really done with some support, especially from my own brother."

"Like I said I would have. But, I couldn't."

"Here we go again."

Cal was about to say something else when Ethan stopped him.

"I don't want to hear anymore. I've had enough of your excuses. I think it's best if we don't see each other for awhile. And once you've decided to admit your mistakes you know where I am."

With that answer Ethan walked away from his brother. Cal stood by the grave stone and looks on at Ethan's retreating back.

"I'm sorry, mum. I know I should have been here for you and for Ethan, but I couldn't say goodbye. I didn't have the courage to see you go. I know you're worried about Ethan. Don't worry I'll look after. We'll both look after each other. Love you, mum." Cal said.

After that Cal then walks away.


	18. Chapter 18 A Merry Little Christmas

_Fast forward to after Taylor reappeared with baby Matilda….._

Cal decorated the Christmas tree while Ethan sat on the sofa holding Matilda in his lap.

"Look at what Daddy's doing." Ethan told his niece.

"Yeah, and uncle Ethan is letting daddy do the all the work." Cal added.

"Hey, you're the one who said you wanted to leave the Christmas decorating to you. So that's what I did."

"I didn't mean all of it. I thought you would at least help me with the tree."

"Well, I did the cooking. You said if I did the cooking you do the rest. So you really can't complain."

"You still could have helped."

"And missed out on all the fun?" Ethan chuckled as Cal came and took Matilda off him.

"You'll regret this, Nibbles. " Cal joked.

"Here we are." Cal said as he lifted his daughter into the air. "Why don't you put the fairy on the top. Your first Christmas with me and uncle Ethan."

Matilda gurgled and kicked her legs wildly as she placed the tiny fairy on the tree. Cal walked with Matilda back over to Ethan who had poured out two glasses of champagne.

"To us." Ethan toasted.

"To us." Cal repeated. "And to Matilda's first Christmas."

"I'll drink to that. Merry Christmas, Cal."

"Merry Christmas, Eth."

"And Merry Christmas to you, little Toad." Cal whispered as placed a kiss on top of his daughter's head.

Ethan had just taken a sip out of his glass when he looked out of the window.

"Cal, look." Ethan cried out cheerfully. "It's snowing."

Cal looked up and stared out of the window. Sure enough tiny snowflakes were starting to fall and they glistened as the street lamps caught them with their light. Cal carried Matilda over to the window while Ethan walked beside them. It was such a strange yet beautiful sight for Matilda and as she watched the tiny specks of white fall to the ground without disappearing as soon as they touched she began to blow tiny bubbles out of mouth.

"I think someone's happy." Cal said to his brother.

"I certainly think so." Ethan replied.

Placing the two glass back on the table, the two brothers got Matilda wrapped up in her winter coat and tiny mittens ready to head outside. Once they were all in their coats they stepped out into the cold. Standing in front of the door, Cal and Ethan just stood looking out at the view of white while little Matilda flapped her covered hands trying to catch the snowflakes. Both brothers laughed as they saw her playing around with the snowflakes in the air. As the snow continued to fall around them the atmosphere soon turned into a magical night as the soft voice of carol singers floated through the air.

 _Through the years we all will be together and_

 _If the fates allow_

 _Hang a shining star upon the highest bow,_

 _And have yourself a merry little Christmas now…._

As the lyrics filled the air both Cal and Ethan looked up into the sky. A shooting star flashed by. Once the shooting star had gone by both knew their mum was looking down on them, happy for what they had become. More importantly for the grand-daughter she had.

"Merry Christmas, mum." They both said, looking up into the sky.


	19. Chapter 19 A Shoulder to Lean On

It shocked him to have Taylor walked back into his life after what she had done to him, but what shocked him even more was the discovery that he had a daughter. Or so Taylor had led him to believe. The moment he had set eyes on the little girl his heart melted and while Ethan was constantly going on about getting a paternity test to make sure, somehow he had hope she was his. His world however, came tumbling down when he discovered that he was not Matilda's dad. He was heartbroken by the results. A part of him when Taylor had reappeared had wanted to believe her and a part of him did believe her. Yet, when he woke up to find she had gone and left Matilda with him somehow he knew she was always the same. She was a liar and no matter how hard he wanted to believe that she would never lie to him, she would always be a liar.

Ethan, on the other hand, knew all along that Taylor wasn't telling truth. And while Ethan had hoped Matilda was Cal's for his brother's sake, it didn't come as a surprise when he got handed the paper with the blood results on it. With Matilda entering their lives unexpectedly, Ethan had seen a change in his brother's personality. He become more responsible, more mature. Ethan was proud that Cal had stepped up and taken responsibility but, it didn't last. As soon as they found out Matilda wasn't Cal's daughter, they knew what they had to do. While handing over to social services was difficult since they both had grown to love her, they knew they could keep her. She would be better off without them.

When they read the results, Ethan tried to comfort his brother, but having reverted back into his original self, Cal did what he did best. He ran and got drunk. And Ethan being Ethan sat at home waiting for him to come home. Just like Ethan had expected Cal came home drunk.

"Ah, Nibbles." Cal slurred as he came in and slumped down on the sofa.

"Is everything alright, Cal?"

"Yeah, it couldn't be better."

"I know you miss her, but it was the best decision."

"This has got nothing to do with Matilda."

"Really? " Ethan said, not believing what Cal's was telling him.

"Of course. I knew she wasn't mine."

"It didn't seem like it to me. If I remember rightly, I was the one who knew she wasn't yours. You, however, were persistent that she was."

"Well, turns out I was wrong about that. Like I am about everything else. She wasn't mine so it doesn't matter."

"You loved her like she was yours."

"So?" Cal snapped. "It didn't matter if I loved her like she was mine because she wasn't!"

"Is it so hard for you to admit how you really feel?"

It was then Ethan saw the tears in his brother's eyes. Cal immediately broke down in front of him. At first Ethan didn't know what to do, but eventually he nervously placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. Ethan felt his brother's weight on top of him as Cal threw himself towards him. Ethan had to budge up to the sofa's side so he didn't fall backwards.

"You're right, Eth." Cal sobbed. "I do miss Matilda. I really thought she was mine. I mean when Taylor had told me she really hoped she was mine I believed her. But, then again why would Taylor be telling the truth after everything she had done? I know it was stupid of me to ever think that she was actually being honest for once. I should have listened to you and I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize." Ethan told him. "I think there's blame on both of us. I also hoped she was ours. I saw how much you had grown to love her and saw how much she meant to you, I really hoped she was yours."

Ethan let Cal cry for as long as he wanted. Leaving Cal on the sofa Ethan walked towards the side dresser and pulled something out of the drawer. Sitting back down, Ethan handed two items.

"Here," He said. "I thought you'd might like to keep these."

Cal wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at what Ethan was giving him. He let out a small laugh as a few more tears fell down and he saw the purple sheep he had given Matilda as well as photograph of him holding her in his arms. Cal smiled as his fingers traced over the photo, outlining her tiny face.

"Thanks." Cal said quietly.

"What for?" Ethan asked.

"For being here."

"I'll always be here, Cal. I'm your brother."

Cal brought his brother into a hug. He would always have Ethan no matter what. For Ethan was his safety net. And always would be.


	20. Chapter 20 What Will Become of Me?

_Ethan knows he has the gene. But, when he starts showing symptoms will he tell Cal or will he shut him out and deal with it on his own?_

It was early on a Sunday morning. Ethan sat in the kitchen looking down at his hands. Every few seconds he could have sworn he saw them shake. The shakiness and sudden movement in his hands worried him as he began to think that his symptoms starting show.

"What time you in, Nibbles?" Cal asked as he staggered out of his bedroom.

Ethan snapped out of his thoughts.

"Uh, in 10 minutes." Ethan replied.

"Well, shouldn't you get going then?"

"I'm on my way." Ethan snapped.

Cal was a bit taken a back by his brother's tone of voice that he couldn't help but, wonder if he was alright.

"Everything alright?" Cal inquired.

"Yes, everything fine."

Cal watched on he saw Ethan move much slower than usual. Ethan had hoped Cal hadn't seen the way he kept looking at his hands and feet but, it was no use. Cal had noticed that every couple of seconds Ethan would look down then look back up as if it wasn't anything important.

"You sure everything's alright, Ethan?" Cal asked once again.

"I said yes, didn't I? Now will you just shut up and let me get to work!"

Ethan's odd behaviour was worrying Cal even more but, didn't want to press his brother any further just in case his head got bitten off. So it just left it. Arriving at the ED Cal still was worried about his brother when he saw Ethan suddenly snap at patient and then got reprimanded by Elle. Charlie, who had witnessed the incident approached Cal.

"What's going with Ethan?" Charlie asked.

"I honestly don't know, Charlie." Cal replied. "He was like that this morning when I asked him if everything was okay."

"Well, whatever it is, we need to make sure it doesn't happen again. I can't have him shout at the patients like that."

"I'll see what I can do. But, like I said before he's been like that with me so I don't know how much difference I can make if he won't talk to me."

Charlie nodded in understanding before leaving Cal, who was still looking at his brother as he walked in the direction of cubicles. The day was going fine. There had been no major incidents declared and so, Cal had spent the morning either in cubicles or working on paperwork. He was busy treating a patient with glass in his hand when the curtain was drawn to reveal Robyn. The expression on her face told Cal something had happened.

"Yes, Robyn. What is it?" Cal asked.

"Sorry to disturb you. But, you're needed."

Cal tilted his head wondering why he was needed.

"It's Ethan."

Cal excused himself from his patient while asking a nurse to take and then proceeded to follow Robyn. At first Cal didn't know where Robyn was going until they reached outside and he saw a crow of people. The crowd consisted of Charlie, Lily, Elle and Max.

"What's going on?" Cal asked as he walked up towards his friends.

"Uh, I don't want you to panic," Charlie started. "But, I think you might want to talk to your brother and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

Cal looked at Charlie as if he had spoken another language. It was when Charlie turned back around to look up that Cal noticed what he was referring too.

"Ethan!" Cal yelled. "Why are you up there?"

"I can't do this anymore. I can't carry on. I need to go. I need to do this." Ethan began to mumble nonsense.

With every word that came out of his mouth, Ethan moved closer and closer towards the edge. And each time Ethan moved towards the edge Cal moved a bit forwarded. Why was Ethan on the roof? And what was he going on about? Cal needed to get up there fast but, was stopped by both Charlie and Elle.

"We need to wait for security." Elle told him.

"Why?" Cal wondered. "That's my brother up there."

"I know but, we can't risk both your lives. Wait till security get here then you can go up."

"I'm not going to just stand here and wait for security to come when my brother is so close to the edge."

Cal was about to run towards the steps to the roof when there was a scream from Lily. Cal turned back around only to find that Ethan was now sitting on the ledge with his legs daggling down and his hands rested on the concrete as if he was readying himself to push off. Cal ran towards the roof.

"Eth?" Cal called out. "Are you just sitting there? You're not going to push yourself off, are you?"

Ethan nodded his head. He then began to rock back and forth. While they continued to watch Ethan's strange behaviour security had arrived. Having cleared it with Elle, Cal and security ran up the stairs. Bursting through the doors Ethan jumped suddenly.

"Woah, it's okay, Ethan. It's just me." Cal said cautiously.

Cal saw Ethan turn his head towards him.

"I need to do this, Cal. I need to go. I need to be with mum."

Cal looked at him. He knew this wasn't his brother talking. Something had happened to make Ethan change. He began to wonder what when something clicked.

"Ethan?" Cal said. "Is there something you would like to tell me? Something I can help you with?"

"No. There's nothing to tell. I don't need your help." Came his reply.

"Are you sure? I mean this isn't you. This isn't the brother I know."

"And how would you know? You've never been around enough to know who I am."

"I know you're my brother. I know this isn't you thinking straight."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not thinking straight. Or maybe I am?"

Again Ethan was talking in riddles and the fear in Cal's stomach would not go away. He stepped a little bit closer towards Ethan holding out his hands.

"Take my hands, Eth and we'll talk about whatever it is that's going." Cal said calmly. "We'll just talk. Just the two of us, no one else."

Finally making sense Ethan came down from the ledge. Cal quickly ran over to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder bringing him to his side as they walked back down the stairs. Walking away from their friends and colleagues the two of them entered the staffroom. Cal pulled down the curtains to give themselves some privacy. He then led Ethan towards the sofa and sat him down.

"Will you tell me what's going on, Ethan?" Cal asked quietly.

"You wouldn't understand."

"I'm your brother, of course I'll understand."

"You haven't noticed it."

"Haven't noticed what?"

"My mood swings. My erratic behaviour."

Cal chuckled slightly.

"Why do you think I was trying to get you to come down off the roof then?"

"You mean you've noticed?"

"Yes, Ethan, I've noticed."

"So you know it's started then. The symptoms. The disease has already exploded and now it's just a matter of time before it take complete control over my body."

"So what? If it's started then it's started, but whatever happens we'll get through this together. We'll fight this disease together."

"There is no 'we'. There is just me."

"What do you mean by that? Of course, there's a 'we'. I'm not letting you face this alone."

"What sort of life will it be, though? I'll no longer be myself and you'll get fed up with me before you know it. I don't want you to have to do something you don't want to do."

"And what makes you think I don't want to do this?" Cal asked him.

"You'll have to do everything for me. Everything. I can't let you throw your life away because of what's going to happen to me. You've already done that for mum, I don't want you to be doing it for me too"

"But, I won't be throwing my life away. How could I be? You're my little brother and I'm going to be there for you every step of the way. It is my job to look after you and that's what I'm going to do."

"But, I don't want you to look after me."

"Ethan, you can't face this alone. You're going to need support."

"We both know it's not going to last, though. You'll run away by the time the disease takes over, just like you always do. I'm just making it easier for you."

"Hey, that may have been true in the past, but things have changed. I could have run when you showed me your test results, but I didn't. I could have run when you tried to shut me out, but I didn't. I didn't run then so I'm not going to run now. Since Christmas and your diagnosis I've come to realise it's time to make up for all the times I ran away. This time it's going to be different. This time I'm going to stay. "

Somehow after everything they had been through over the past 2 years Ethan finally believed his brother. From then on, Ethan knew Cal would be there for him no matter what.


	21. Chapter 21 Big Brother, Little Brother

_Ethan tells Cal about the funding for the research and a possible cure for Huntington's disease. Based on 'Pride Comes Before A Fall'._

Funding for research and a cure. That's what the patient had said. A cure for this dreadful disease that was lurking inside his body. Ethan felt a bit of hope when he had heard that she and some other professors were working on finding a cure for neurodegenerative diseases including Huntington's. The disease that had slowly killed his mum and now was slowly killing him. But, at the end of the day as her doctor Ethan knew that the cause of her collapse was due to the amount of hours she was spending on work and had to advise her to not take the job if it wasn't what she wanted for herself or for her family. Ethan knew that while it would have been great news for those living with the disease to know that there could one day be a cure, it shouldn't come at the cost of another person's health. So putting aside his own emotions he had persuaded the patient to not take the job.

"Are you alright?" Cal asked as they came home after finishing their shift. "I mean you've been ever so quiet since we got into the car."

"Just a tough shift that's all." Came Ethan's reply.

"When isn't it a tough shift?" Cal joked.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to know there could have been a cure for your illness but then told the person who was making the breakthrough to stop because it was damaging their health?"

Cal looked at his brother.

"What are you talking about?"

"This patient. She was a professor who had been offered funding for research and a cure for neurodegenerative diseases, including Huntington's. She told me about what they were doing and said there could be a cure."

"Wow, that's brilliant, mate."

"She didn't accept it."

"What? Why?"

"Because I told her not to. And before you ask why would I do that, I'll tell you why. The amount of hours she was spending and would have spent was damaging her health. As her doctor it was my job to advise her to not take the job if it wasn't what she wanted."

While Cal understood Ethan made the right decision, he knew how hard it must have been for his brother to have that small bit of hope, only for it to be taken away.

"I'm sure there'll be another team who would dedicated their time in finding a cure."

"I'm sure there will be."

Ethan's tone was more down-hearted than Cal would have liked.

"But?"

"But, it won't be in my life time. I know that sounds selfish and I don't mean to be. I mean it's great to know that for future generations there will be hope of eradicating the disease one day but, what about those people living with the disease now? It's too late for them. It's too late for me."

"Don't say that, Eth. It may take years for your symptoms to show. And who knows? When your symptoms do start to show they might have already found a cure."

"But, how do you know my symptoms haven't started. I mean looked what happened a couple of weeks ago. I was on the roof top ready to push myself off. That wasn't me. And what about when I resigned. That wasn't me either. I don't know what's happening to me, Cal."

"Those things that happened was due to the stress and the black alert that was put in place. We were all stretched to our limits that it was only natural for you to feel the way you did. Everyone was."

"But, how do you know it was because of the black alert? The stress could have already been there because of the symptoms. Plus I even shouted at two patients. That's not like me."

Cal pulled his brother into his side.

"Look, I know you're scared. I am too, but like I said before, we'll get through this together. If you're so worried that the disease has started to present itself, how about I make an appointment with the neurologist and they can run some tests to see?"

Ethan quickly shook his head.

"No, I can't go."

"Why not? It will help put your mind at rest."

"What difference will it make? There a chance that the neurologist will say it has started, there's another chance where they will it hasn't. What if it's the latter? I'll still be wondering when it's going to happen. It's never going to go away."

"Well, if the neurologist tells us you haven't got the symptoms then at least we can prepare ourselves for when it does."

"That's the problem though. We won't ever know when it will start. It could be now, it could 10 years. I can't live with my life with this constant worry.

"That's why I think it's a good idea if we go and make an appointment."

"What about what I think?" Ethan snapped.

"I know you don't want to, but it would be better. I'll come with you if you'd like?"

"No, Cal. I said I'm not going."

"You'll only keep worrying."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'll always be worrying. Whether or not it's started, I'll always be worried."

"Then what difference will it make if you go see the neurologist?"

"Because then it will be final. It will be the beginning of the end. I can't go through that."

"So what do you want to do?"

"At this moment, nothing. I just want to get on with my life. And while I know I'll never stop worrying, I just don't want to have it ruin my life now, not while I still have control over it."

"You know you're going to have to face it sooner or later?"

"You think I don't know that? I'll face it when the time comes but, now is not the time. I would have hoped you'd support me in that at least."

"I'm your big brother, of course you'll have my support."


	22. Chapter 22 Brutal Honesty

_**Spoilers for this week's episode, 'Party Pooper'. Ethan sees Cal and Alicia kiss.**_

His conversation with the professor about grabbing every opportunity life throws at him made him realise what he had to do. On his way to the pub, Ethan kept encouraging himself. He kept rehearsing all the words he was going to say to Alicia. Yet, no matter how hard he kept repeating the words, he still felt nervous. He had never been good at flirting with women compared with his brother. Then again he had never felt anything like he felt for with Alicia. Not even with Honey. Ethan had really fallen for Alicia and hoped his relationship with Alicia would last if it went any further. Getting closer to the door of the pub he felt his lips go dry and his heart was beating hard against his chest.

Knowing he couldn't put it off any longer Ethan took a deep breath. Pushing the door open he thought he would see Alicia having a great time with their friends and colleagues. And he was right, but what he didn't expect was to see having a good time meant her kissing his brother.

Ethan felt a burst of anger explode inside of him. He mentally slapped himself. Why did he always have to leave everything to the last minute? He should have known what Cal was up to. Whenever Ethan found someone he liked Cal had to ruin it. He always had to make everything a competition, one where he always one. One where he always got what he wanted. Ethan knew he shouldn't have trusted Cal. But, after everything that had happened to them since their mother died, Ethan really thought his brother had changed. He really thought Cal had stepped and matured. He really thought Cal would be his big brother. How wrong Ethan was. Cal hadn't changed. He hadn't stepped up. He was the same as he always was. Always getting what he wanted, when he wanted no matter who got hurt in the process.

At that moment, Ethan wanted to confront his brother. He wanted to go up and ask him what if felt like knowing he had betrayed him again. He wanted to know if he enjoyed hurting him. if he enjoyed stealing everything from him. He wanted to know if he even cared one bit about him. All these questions he wanted answers to but, he didn't want to cause a scene. So he decided to not go over and talk to Cal. Turning back around closing the door behind him, Ethan just stood there for a few moments frozen to the spot. His breathing getting faster. He couldn't stay there any longer. not after what he had just seen. With the way he was feeling who knows what he was capable of. If there weren't so many of his friends in the pub he would have hit Cal there and then. After a few moments of taking in what had just happened, he walked away. He kept walking not bothering to look where he was going. He didn't care where he was going nor did he know where he was going to. He felt numb. Numb to his core until he felt the sharp sting of the harsh wind against his cheeks and tasted the salt in the air. He stood by the waterfront looking out across the sea. This was the place where it all began yet all ended on the same day. The day their mother passed away quietly in his brother's arms thinking that both her sons had not inherited the gene. Though not knowing that everything she had heard, the story was a lie. It was the day he had found out that he had the gene. The gene that was going to follow him wherever he went and slowly kill him. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't heard someone approach him.

"Go away, Cal," Ethan announced.

"It's me." replied the familiar voice of Charlie.

"Sorry," Ethan said. "I thought you were Cal."

"I gathered." Charlie slightly chuckled.

"How did you find me?" Ethan inquired.

"I saw you walk away from the pub and was worried. You didn't look too good."

"Well, you would be if you saw your brother kiss the girl you like." Ethan told him.

"I'm sorry?" Charlie asked.

"He kissed her. Cal kissed Alicia. He knew that I liked her. But, Cal being Cal has to ruin everything. Has to get everything he wants and forget about everybody else." Ethan snapped.

"How could he do that to me?" Ethan turned to Charlie. "My own brother?"

"I'm sure there's an explanation." Charlie offered.

Ethan scoffed.

"Of course there's an explanation. There always is when it comes to Cal."

"Look, why don't I call him? I imagine you two need to have a chat."

"Why bother, Charlie? He'll only lie and say it wasn't his fault."

Charlie still decided to call Cal.

"Yeah, Cal, it's me," Charlie said into the phone. "I need to come down."

"Come down where?" Cal's voice answered back.

"I'm at the beach."

"What are you doing there?"

"I'm with Ethan."

"Ethan? What's Ethan doing at the beach?" Cal asked confused.

"I think you need to ask that yourself. He needs to talk to you. Don't you, Ethan?"

Charlie turned around to get Ethan to confirm his statement but, as he turned Ethan was nowhere to be seen. That was until Charlie saw him walking off into the distance towards the rolling waves of the sea.

"ETHAN!" Charlie yelled out.

"Charlie? Charlie, what is it? Where's Ethan?" Cal asked when he heard his friend shout his brother's name.

"He's heading towards the sea," Charlied told him.

"What do you mean he's heading towards the sea?"

"Exactly what I said. He's heading towards the sea. Like he's walking into the sea." Charlie said.

"Is he in the sea?"

"Yes, he's in the sea. He's in the sea walking." Charlie repeated, trying to get Cal to understand what he was saying.

Cal ended the call as soon as he realised what Charlie was telling him. It didn't take Cal too long to arrive at the beach. As he jumped out of the car he saw Charlie standing on the waterfront.

"Charlie, where's Ethan?" Cal called out as he ran over.

"He's over there." Charlie replied, pointing to where Ethan was.

Cal looked and saw Ethan just standing in the water. Not knowing what his brother was up to or was going to do next Cal cautiously walked over to him.

"Eth?" Cal said. "Ethan, are you okay?"

Ethan turned around to face his brother. All of a sudden Cal felt a sharp pain as he felt Ethan's fist make contact with his face. Cal staggered back by the force of the hit.

"What the hell was that for?" Cal asked in shock.

"What do you think that was for? And no, I'm not okay. How can I be when I've just seen what I saw?" Ethan responded.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm sure you do."

"Honestly, I don't." Cal admitted truthfully.

"Okay, so I was mistaken when I saw you kissing Alicia?"

Cal froze when he heard Ethan's answer.

"You saw that?"

"I'm pretty sure everyone saw you."

"Oh, Ethan..."

"Don't 'Oh, Ethan" me. I saw you."

There was a slight pause before Ethan continued.

"How could you, Cal? You know I like her."

"Of course, I do."

"Then why the hell did you kiss her?"

"I didn't mean to. One minute we were talking and the next she kissed me. It's not like I deliberately kissed her."

"Well, it didn't seem like you were complaining or anything from where I was standing."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear it. I've had enough of your excuses."

"I'm not making excuses."

"Yes, you are. You always do. Why is this any different? You've betrayed me again and again you are trying to get out of it by saying it wasn't your fault."

"But, it wasn't my fault. Alicia made the first move."

"What difference does that make? You still kissed her."

"I said I was sorry."

"And I said I don't want to hear any more of your excuses. Just go away, Cal. I don't want you anywhere near me."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Don't push me out, Eth."

"You've done that all by yourself."

"Please, Ethan."

"I really thought you had changed, Cal. After mum died and I found out that I had inherited Huntington's I really thought you had become a different person. I thought I could now count on you being there for me. I thought you were going to support me through this hurdle in my life. I thought you were going to be my big brother." Ethan told him as he faced his brother.

"I am your big brother." Cal told him.

Ethan shook his head.

"No, you aren't. You never were. All my life I've waited for you to be the brother I knew you could be. All my life I've wanted to look up to you like all siblings do, but I couldn't. And you know why? Because you never were a brother I could look up to. You never were that role model I wanted to aspire to be. You were always someone I hated. Someone I never wanted to be like. You take life like it's a game. Like it's a game of chess. A game of chess where everyone is a pawn that you can so casually sacrifice. I'm fed up. I'm fed up with expecting you to change. Fed up with picking up the pieces of your messes. I'm fed up of you getting everything you want and who cares about the rest of us."

"I have changed. I've changed a lot. And it's not just with what's happened with mum or your diagnosis. Ever since Matilda came into our lives I've learnt to accept my mistakes and have taken my responsibilities seriously."

"It certainly doesn't look like it."

"So what do you want me to do?" Cal said. "Do you want me to go down on my knees and beg?"

Ethan shook his head.

"Then what?"

"Nothing."

"I want to make it up to you."

"It's too late for that."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't want you in my life anymore."

"Ethan..."

"I mean it, Cal. I want you out of my life."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm moving out and quitting Holby."

"So who's running away now?" Cal commented.

"I'm not running away."

"Yeah, of course, you're not. Because shutting me out is certainly not running away."

"Well, you would know. You've done it so many times before. Now you know what it feels like to be left to pick up the pieces."

"Don't go. I promise I won't do it again. I won't do anything to hurt you. Just stay. Please, for me?" Cal pleaded.

"Like I said it's too late for that."

It was then the realisation of how serious the situation was that Cal broke down.

"Please, Ethan. I need you. I've always needed you."

"And how do you think I feel?" Ethan choked with emotion. "What about when I needed you? What about when I needed my big brother to tell me everything was going to be okay? When I needed you to tell me you'd always be there to support me?"

"Everything is going to be okay. I am going to be there for you."

"They're just words. Words that mean nothing. Not to me. Not now. How can I trust you now?"

"But, you can trust me."

"I can't. "

"Yes, you can."

Ethan shook his head.

"Not anymore."

"I don't want to lose you." Cal told him as he felt tears prick his eyes. "You're my little brother and I love you."

Ethan looked at him straight in the eye. He was trying to see if there was another motive behind his brother's words but, when he looked into his brother's eyes he could see nothing but, love. Love for him. Ethan really wanted to believe Cal. He really wanted to be able to trust him, yet every time Ethan thought he could trust his brother all he could think about was everything that had happened in the past. All the promises Cal made then broken.

"I love you too," Ethan admitted truthfully. "And nothing's going to ever change that but, I can't carry on like this."

"Like what?"

"I can't go on every day wondering whether you're going to be there or not. I can't keep expecting you to stay when all I can think about is that you might run away. I need to be sure there will be someone I can rely on. Someone who can support me. And I want that to be my brother. I want that to be you, but how can I be sure when I know what you're like?"

"Look, I know I can't change the past, but I can change the present. I promise," Cal said as he grabbed his brother' shoulders, "that from now on I'll be there for you. Whenever you need me, I'll be there. And we'll face whatever life throws at us. We'll get through this together."

Ethan looked him in the eyes. He could see what Cal was saying was true.

"Okay." Was all Ethan said.

Cal gave him a small smile before taking his hand.

"Right, well, let's get out of the water before we both catch a cold."

Nodding slightly, Ethan took hold of Cal's hand and walked out of the sea. Once on the sand, Charlie walked down to meet them.

"Everything okay?"

Cal looked back to Ethan and nodded.

"Yeah, I think everything's going to be okay." Cal replied.

Giving both of them a smile, Charlie then left the two brothers alone.

"Are you going to tell me why you were in the sea?" Cal asked Ethan quietly.

Before Ethan answered in the back of his mind, Cal had an explanation why his brother walked into the sea, but he wanted his brother to dismiss that idea.

"I think you know why." Ethan told him truthfully. "But, I couldn't do it."

"Why?"

"Because of you."


	23. Chapter 23 Where's My Daughter?

**_A face from Cal's past returns. The unexpected visit causes problems when old wounds get reopened. (Lyrics included are from Adele's 'Hello')_**

It was just another normal day at the ED. Not many major incidents, but loads of minor in cubicles. Cal was busy treating a patient when the curtains were pulled back revealing Lofty.

"Sorry to disturb you, but there's someone asking for you on the phone."

"Right, could you finish up cleaning the wound and then stitch it up." Cal informed him.

Lofty nodded in response as Cal left the cubicle. Once by reception Noel handed him the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Taylor? What do you want?" Cal asked through gritted teeth.

"I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet?"

"Why?"

"To go over everything. They say that time's supposed to heal you. But, I ain't done much healing."

"Where are you?"

"I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be. When we were younger and free. I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm outside."

"Look, Taylor, I don't want to see you."

"Please, Cal."

"No, I don't want to hear it. Anyway, why are you calling me?"

"To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done. To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart."

"It's a bit too late for that."

"Please, just meet me outside the hospital."

"No." And with his final answer, he hung up.

A little while later Cal was in the staff room on his break when Noel popped his head round the door.

"Cal, there's someone waiting for you in the relative's room."

"Did they say what they wanted?"

"Just that they want to talk to you."

"Did they say their name?"

Noel shook his head. Cal groaned.

"What sort of receptionist are you if you don't ask for their name?" He said as he walked past Noel.

Reaching the staff room, Cal opened the door.

"Taylor? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Really?"

"Yes. And to see our daughter."

The mention of Matilda brought a wave of anger inside of him.

"Our daughter?" Cal emphasised.

Taylor nodded.

"But she wasn't our daughter was she?"

"Of course, she was."

Cal scoffed.

"Don't lie to me. I took a paternity test. She wasn't my daughter. That was just another lie. Another lie to get me back."

"That's not true."

"It is! You lie. You make me steal from my brother, make me believe I was a father and you expect me to take you back."

"We the same, Cal. That's why we are meant to be together."

"I'm nothing like you."

"Oh, no? You lie all the time. Especially to that brother of yours. And why would it matter anyway? He deserved what he got. It wasn't for him I wouldn't be in prison."

"Don't you dare talk about Ethan like that!" Cal snapped at her. "You deserved what you got. He was only trying to protect me."

"Since when did you care about what your brother?

"You know nothing about me and Ethan."

"Don't I? What about all the times you told me that you were jealous of him because he always got your dad's approval. When you told me that your parents always put him first instead of you?"

"I was trying to impress you."

"Really? Because from the way you were talking about him, it certainly seemed like you meant every word."

"Well, I didn't. I was teasing because we're brothers. And that's what we do. We tease each other."

"So where's my daughter then?"

"Your daughter?"

"Yes, my daughter. She is my daughter."

"How do I know that's not just another lie?"

"It's not."

"So are you saying you slept with someone else while you were with me?" Cal asked.

Taylor didn't answer him. She stood in silence.

"Ah, I see." Cal began. "That was another lie too. You didn't care about me. You didn't love me. I was just another one of those men you use to get what you want."

"It wasn't like that." Taylor told him.

"Really?"

"I loved you. I still love you."

"Well, I don't love you." Cal replied. "And for your information, your daughter is with social services."

"What?"

"I couldn't actually keep her after I found out she wasn't mine. It would have been illegal."

"Why the hell didn't you call me?" Taylor raised her voice.

"Call you? How could I when you didn't exactly leave a phone number or address? You ran away like you've always done."

"I want to see her."

"I'm not going to let you see her."

"She's my daughter."

"You should have thought about that when you decided to her abandon her."

"I thought she would have been better off with you."

"What? So now you want her?"

"Well, you don't want her."

"She's wasn't mine to begin with!" Cal raised his voice too. "But, you know what? I really thought she was mine. I really did. And I grew to love her as if she was mine. Not only did I grow to love her, but Ethan did too. When we found out that she wasn't mine, we were both heart broken. You did that!"

Taylor was about to speak when Cal interrupted her.

"No, I want you gone before I call the police. Ethan's done it once I can do it too."

"You're making a very big mistake." Taylor whispered as she walked passed him.


	24. Chapter 24 Acting on Her Words

_**Cal soon realises Taylor was true to her word. When something happens close to home will Cal learn to not cross Taylor again or will he phone the police?**_

Taylor's words echoed in his mind. While Cal hoped her were words were just words, he couldn't help but, wonder whether Taylor was capable of acting on those words.

"Hey." Ethan said as he walked to his locker. "I've just finished my shift, is there anything you want me to get for tonight's dinner?"

"Nah, I don't mind." Cal replied.

"Okay, I'll see you at home then."

Cal nodded at his brother and watched Ethan walk out of the staff room. An hour later, Cal had finished his shift. He was just grabbing his coat when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took the phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen. It said 1 new message, but it was a number he didn't recognise. Curiosity getting the better of him he opened up the message. It read:

 _I told you were making a big mistake. If you want to see your brother alive then meet me at Farmead estate._

 _T x_

Immediately Cal knew who had sent him that message. To make matters worse she had Ethan. Frantically Cal tried dialling the number but, it just went straight to voicemail. Slamming his locker door shut he ran out of the staff room. He didn't care that his colleagues were giving him strange looks at his urgency all he wanted was to get to Ethan before Taylor hurt him. Halting his car to a stop upon reaching Farmead he got out of the car. Scanning the estate he soon spotted Taylor. She was standing by a lamp post. Yet, there was no sign of his brother.

"Taylor, where's Ethan? What the hell you've done to him?" Cal shouted at her.

"Nothing, at the moment." Taylor smirked. "But, that will all depend on how well you're going to cooperate."

"Cooperate with what?" Cal asked, fearful about his brother's safety.

"Help me get my daughter back."

Cal shook his head.

"Absolutely not. You don't deserve to be a mother."

"I guess then you don't really care about your brother then." She told him as she turned and walked away.

Cal grabbed her wrist.

"Tell me where my brother is!" He demanded.

"Get my daughter back and I'll tell you where he is." Taylor negotiated.

Although Cal knew that Taylor could be lying about Matilda's parentage, he only cared about Ethan. Reluctantly, he gave in to her demand.

"Fine. I'll help you get your daughter back, but first tell me where Ethan is." Cal told her.

"Not, until I have my daughter. Now, listen to me. I want you to go back to your flat and wait for my first instruction."

"Why do I need instructions?" Can't I just call social services and ask for an address?"

"As if I would make it that easy for you."

With her final answer, Taylor walked away. Cal had a mind to call her on her bluff but, since he knew Taylor was manipulative as she was he thought better of it and decided to go ahead with what she wanted. Once back in his flat Cal couldn't do anything but, think about his Ethan and what Taylor might do to him. It was about 7 when his phone vibrated again in his pocket.

"Taylor?"

"Cal?"

He recognised the voice straight away. It was Ethan's.

"Ethan? Ethan, where are you?"

"Please, Cal, you've got to help me."

Cal could tell he was struggling for breath. He needed to know where Ethan was.

"Ethan, can you tell me where you are?"

"I'm at..."

Then the line went dead.

"Ethan!" Cal yelled.

It was no use there was just a monotonous sound. Cal was getting really worried. He needed to find Ethan and fast. He headed to the front door when he felt something crunch beneath his foot. He stepped back and looked down. Underneath the door, there was a piece of a paper. For a minute Cal wondered how on earth he could have missed it. It was there when he arrived. So who slipped the paper underneath? Bending down, Cal picked up the piece of paper and opened it.

 _You'll find Ethan at the back of the hospital but, you'll won't find me._

 _T x_

Angrily, Cal screwed the paper up. Chucking it across the room he went out of the flat and headed to the hospital as fast as he could. Whilst driving he dialled a familiar number.

"Cal?" came the familiar voice of Charlie.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you still at the hospital by any chance?" Charlie asked him.

"Uh, yeah. Why? Is everything alright?" Charlie asked, wondering why Cal was calling him.

"I'm not sure. But, I need you to do something for me."

"Sure. What is it?"

"I need you to check the back of the hospital and call me as soon as you do."

"Why?"

"I can't explain at the moment, but just check and quickly."

Cal then ended the call and continued to drive to the hospital. As he parked the car outside the entrance, his phone went off.

"Yeah, Charlie?" He said, fearing the worst.

"You better get down here quick. It's Ethan."

"I know. I'm just outside the hospital now."

Cal burst through the double doors just as he saw Charlie, Elle, Robyn and Lofty rushing into Resus. Following quickly behind them, Cal was suddenly stopped by Lily.

"Was that Ethan?" Lily asked shocked.

"Not now, Lily." Cal replied, dismissing her question.

Cal walked away leaving Lily still looking on and pushed the doors to Resus open. Inside the room he was met with his friends working on his brother, hooking him up on to machines and wires. He heard the beeps of the monitors as Ethan lay on the bed. Lay on the bed with a red stain spreading across his abdomen. He ran his hand through his hair as he stood there helplessly.

"Do we have any idea who did this to him?" Elle asked, looking over his shoulder while she was trying to stem the bleeding.

Cal shook his head.

"No, he um, called me about 30 minutes ago before I arrived but, I could tell that he was struggling for breath." Cal explained.

"Right, I want another litre of saline, 2 units of blood, FBCs, U&Es and someone fast track surgery." Elle ordered.

"Surgery?" Cal inquired.

"Yeah, he's going to need surgery." Elle informed him. "This stab wound is massive and it's caused a fair amount of damage internally."

The room was soon filled with an erratic beeping noise.

"He's crashing! We need to stop this bleeding. He's bleeding out faster than we can push it back in." Elle said.

"Come on, Ethan. Stay with me." Cal told him as he rushed over to his brother's side.

"Cal, let us do our job." Charlie said to him quietly.

Reluctantly, Cal moved away from the bed to let them treat Ethan. Leaving the room so they could do their job, Cal headed to the relative's room. Charlie could sense there was something Cal wasn't telling them so he decided to follow him to find out what it was.

"Is Ethan alright?" Cal asked when he saw Charlie enter the room.

"He's stable, but that's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?"

"Are you sure you don't know how Ethan was stabbed?"

Cal shook his head slowly. Very slowly. Charlie looked at him sceptically. Cal knew Charlie knew that he wasn't telling them the truth.

"I'm not sure if this is true, but I have an idea as to who could have stabbed Ethan." Cal told him eventually.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"I, um, received this text message from Taylor."

"Who's Taylor?"

"She was just some woman I met a few years ago. She um, manipulated me into stealing money from Ethan and then ran off."

"Why would she stab Ethan?"

"Because he was the one who called the police on her."

"So are you saying she did this for revenge?"

"I'm not sure."

"What do you mean you're not sure?"

"I think she stabbed him because I wouldn't help her get Matilda back."

"Matilda?" Charlie asked. "Was Matilda hers?"

"Well, that's just it. I don't know. She says Matilda is hers but, she also told me she was mine."

"But, she wasn't yours. So you don't know if she's lying about being her mother?"

"Exactly."

They were interrupted by a quiet knock at the door.

"Sorry, to bother you but, I thought you would just like to know Ethan's out of surgery and is stable." Elle told them.

Charlie nodded.

"Look why don't you go and see him. We'll talk about this some other time." Charlie told him.

"But, shouldn't we call the police?" Cal asked him.

"What good would that do? Unless you know where Taylor is now."

Cal shook his head.

"Then leave it and go to Ethan."

Cal smiled his thanks and left the room.


	25. Chapter 25 A Brother's Happiness

_**Will things between the two brothers be normal when both seem to fall for the same person?**_

He had a whole range of emotions running through him. He felt not only betrayed by his brother, he also felt betrayed by someone who he thought was his friend. And while he was angry at their betrayal he couldn't help but, feel angrier with himself. He was the one who didn't have enough confidence to tell Alicia how he felt. His hesitance of revealing his feelings had given Cal the opportunity to make his move. For as long as he could remember, Ethan always gave in to his brother and this situation was no different. He guessed that the reason was something to do with the older sibling/younger sibling hierarchy. Ethan had even given Cal the tickets to the awards night. In a way maybe it was his fault. He had told Cal that he and Alicia weren't a suitable match, so in a way, Ethan couldn't really blame his brother for doing what he did. However, what Ethan hadn't expected was to see how fast it all happened. Then again, that was Cal. Always the one to make a quick move whenever something, or in this case, someone came along.

Ever since Ethan had discovered that Cal and Alicia were together he realised deep down that even though he saw how much his brother had changed over the course of what had happened to the both of them, Cal was still his same self. He was still the same person who got whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted regardless of everyone else. Knowing that Cal would always be that person who put himself first above anyone else, Ethan decided it was time for a change. It was time to get used to his brother not being there when the time comes. Although growing up, Ethan had gotten used to the idea that Cal wasn't the supportive brother, since his diagnosis and the death of their birth mother, Ethan really saw a change in Cal. He really thought he could trust his brother more now, a trust that wasn't there when they were children.

It was late on a Friday night. Both Cal and Ethan were in the flat doing their own things. Cal, however, could sense that something was up. He finished what he was doing and walked over to where Ethan sat on the sofa. Ethan felt the sofa dipped but, didn't react.

"Are you alright?" Ethan heard his brother ask him.

"Yeah, I couldn't be better."

Cal could tell by Ethan's tone of voice that he wasn't alright so he tried again.

"Are you sure you alright? I mean this isn't about me and Alicia, is it?"

"No, of course not. I'm happy for you. Really."

"Come on, Eth. I know you."

Ethan sighed. He knew Cal knew that he wasn't alright.

"Fine. No, I'm not alright."

"So it is about me and Alicia."

"You knew I liked her."

"I did. But, hey, you were the one who said you two weren't a match."

"I know, but that didn't mean you could sleep with her as soon as I told you."

"It wasn't like that."

"Wasn't it?" Ethan asked. "I know what you're like."

"I like her." Cal told him.

"Yeah, so did I. I still do."

"So, why don't you tell her?"

"It's too late for that now. She's with you."

There was a slight pause before Ethan continued.

"Anyway, even if I wanted to tell her how I feel I can't."

"Why not?"

Ethan tilted his head towards his brother.

"You know why."

The two of them sat in silence. Cal realised how awkward this situation had become. While he did like Alicia and hadn't felt like this since his relationship with Taylor, Cal could see Ethan still had feelings for her. He wanted his brother to be happy.

"Look, Ethan." Cal started to say. "If you really like her then I'll break up with her."

"I don't want you to do that. Not for me anyway."

"But, you like her."

"I do, but so do you. I don't want to cause any problems between you two."

"I'm sure it won't cause any problems. Anyway, you liked her first."

"It's a bit too late for that. I mean you're happy, she's happy."

Cal was about to respond to Ethan's reply, but his brother beat him to it.

"You're my brother, Cal. And you're happiness is more important than any regrets I have. Like you said before, I should have asked her when I had the chance. But, like me I didn't have the courage. What's happened has happened and I can't do anything about it. I'm happy for you, really."

Cal wrapped his arm around Ethan's neck and smiled at him slightly.

"Thanks, Nibbles. And you know what? I am happy. Happier than I've ever been. Even when I was with Taylor. And don't worry, you'll find someone. How about Kate?"

"Kate?" Ethan asked.

"Yeah, Kate. That girl we met in the cafe when we took mum to the beach. Why don't you give her a call." Cal said. Then he looked at his brother with his head tilted.

"You do still have her number, don't you?"

Ethan nodded. He then went to dial the number.

"Get in there, Ethan." Cal announced to himself.


	26. Chapter 26 Conleth Bay

**Chapter 26: Conleth Bay**

 _Inspired from the Winter 2016 Trailer….._

The car journey to Conleth Bay was filled with a somber atmosphere. While it should have been an enjoyable trip for the two of them it was also emotional. Not only was Conleth the last place they were with their mum in her final moments, it was where Ethan wanted to go since his Huntington's symptoms had started. The day he began to notice his symptoms was a day Ethan had dreaded. Apart from Lily and Cal, he had told no one, but when it started affecting his work he had to inform the rest of his colleagues about his diagnosis. The moment he was told that he was showing the early symptoms of this dreadful disease, he knew the time he had left was limited and so he decided he wanted to make the most out of his life while he still could. So he made a bucket list. And one of the first things on that bucket list was to return to Conleth Bay one last time. To go back to the place where it all began. Wanting to make his brother happy, Cal decided to organise a little trip for the two of them to visit Conleth again. But, what Ethan didn't know was that Cal had a little surprise hidden for him when they arrived.

"Thank you for doing this." Ethan said to his brother. "It means a lot."

Cal didn't have any words to say. Instead he pulled Ethan into his side and placed a kiss on top of his head. Cal wanted to make Ethan have the best days of his life while he still could and if that meant doing everything and anything on his bucket list, then Cal was all for it. He didn't want Ethan to have any regrets. The taxi soon came to a halt. Cal paid the driver while Ethan slowly got out of the car to breathe in the sea air.

"When the time comes, will you spread my ashes into the sea?" Ethan asked as Cal came up beside him.

"Of course, Eth. But, for now let's not think about that. We've still got plenty of time left."

"I'm only planning for the inevitable, Cal."

Cal smile sadly at him. Even though he didn't like to admit it, Ethan was doing the right thing by planning ahead. He knew his brother didn't want to end up like their mum did, nor did he want to become dependent on those around him. He was, as he usually was, putting others before him. After looking out across the sea and feeling the breeze against their faces, the two of them walked slowly down to the beach.

"Last one in has to buy the drinks!" Ethan shouted out as he ran down the sand waiting for Cal to catch him up.

Their laughter could be heard as they splashed in the water. If only their mum could see them now.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Having spent the afternoon splashing each other with the cold water, Cal decided to treat them to an ice-cream. While Cal got up to buy two ice-cream cones, he pulled out his phone and dialled a number. Smiling to himself, Cal handed Ethan one of the cones he was holding. Ethan noticed his brother's expression and got a bit curious.

"Don't tell me you've flirted with a girl?" Ethan asked, shaking his head.

Cal looked aghast.

"Why would you think that? I've been getting us ice-cream."

"It doesn't take 30 minutes to get two cones of ice-cream."

"It does when there's a massive queue."

"Cal, this beach is practically empty."

"Enough complaining and eat your ice-cream."

Before Ethan had time to argue, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out of his coat pocket and looked at the screen.

"Well, answer it." Cal said.

"Hello?" Ethan said into the speaker.

"Hi, Ethan. It's me, Kate from the cafe. The one who has a very low spontaneous threshold."

"Kate," Ethan replied. "It's um, good to hear from you."

"I know this may seem out of the blue, but I was wondering if you would like to meet up and grab a coffee?"

"Uh, yeah. That um, would be lovely."

"Great!" Kate replied. "I'll be there in like a couple of secs."

"Wait, what do you mean a couple of..." Ethan got cut off when he saw walking towards him was Kate.

Kate gave him a smile when she reached where he stood.

"Hi again." Kate said.

"Hi." Ethan said quietly. "How did you know I was here?"

Kate turned and indicated to Cal. Although Ethan wanted to give his brother a glare, he couldn't be angry with him. Instead he just turned back to Kate and tried to talk, but no words came out.

"I'll leave you two to it." Cal said.

Leaving the two of them alone, Cal walked away. There was an awkward a silence between them for a few moments.

"So, um how have you been?" Ethan stammered slightly.

"I've been good. What about yourself?" Kate inquired as they went off to grab a coffee.

"Yeah, good too thanks. Work's been busy, but that's nothing unusual."

There was a slight pause.

"It is good to see you again, but why did my brother phone you?"

Kate took a sip from her coffee before replying.

"He, um told me about what happened with your mother. About her diagnosis..."

"So you know how this disease is inherited?"

Kate nodded slowly.

"He um, told me about your diagnosis."

"And?"

"And what?" Kate wondered.

"You're not angry, upset or anything like that?" Ethan asked.

Kate shook her head.

"Why would I be?"

"I guess most people when they hear that someone has Huntington's their normal reaction is to kind of run away. Well, that's what I thought would happen when I told Cal about my diagnosis. I've been so used to him running away from things when they got tough, that I actually thought he would do the same when he found out that I had inherited the gene."

"But he didn't." Kate said.

"No, he didn't." Ethan agreed. "And that's made me realise how much he's changed over the years. He's never been the one to step up and take responsibility, but after everything that happened to us over the past 3 years he's become more mature. For that I am proud of him. I never thought he could change, but he's proved me wrong."

"He seems to care about you."

"Yeah, he does."

Soon the sun was setting. Kate and Ethan were having a great time getting to know each other a bit better, but it was time for them to be heading their separate ways. Before she left, Kate stopped and stood in front of Ethan.

"I've had a good time today." She said with a smile.

"Me too." Ethan replied.

"Maybe we can have dinner some time?"

"I would like that."

Kate smiled at him once more before placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

"I'll call you."

With that Kate walked away leaving Ethan looking on as she disappeared into the distance.

"Well done, Nibbles." Cal said as he slumped his arm around Ethan's shoulder. "You do have that Knight magic in you after all.

Ethan gave his brother a roll of the eyes.


	27. Chapter 27 Despite The Fear

**Despite Fear, A Brother's Love Remains**

 _ **Inspired by the episode, 'Reap the Whirlwind'. Lyrics included are from 'Losing Your Memory' by Ryan Star.** _

_Call all your friends_

 _And tell them you're never coming back_

 _Cause this is the end_

 _Pretend that you want it_

 _Don't react_

He could feel the cool rain dripping down his face and the blood oozing through his fingers as he tried to stem the bleeding. His breathing was becoming laboured. The pain searing through his entire body. He wondered how long he would stay out here for, wondered who was going to find him. His breath hitched slightly. What if his brother found him? His brother. His baby brother.

 _The damage is done_

 _The police are coming too slow now_

 _I would have died_

 _I would have loved you all my life_

His heartbeat sped up at the thought of his brother. Somehow he needed to know if his brother was okay. Suddenly a glimmer of hope appeared in the form of Dylan. Noticing Dylan was on the phone, Cal attempted to get his attention by calling out his name. It didn't work. Dylan was turning around after ending the call and was about to walk away when Cal banged against the metal behind him. Dylan heard it. He stopped, turned around and squinted in the direction of where the sound was coming from. At first, Dylan couldn't be sure who or what had made the sound, but his shock surfaced when he realised who it was.

"Can I get some help here? And we need a trolley!" Dylan called out towards the hospital entrance.

"Cal, are you okay? Have you been stabbed?" Dylan asked as he ran over, dropping his umbrella.

Dylan's hand touched a damp patch on Cal's jacket. As he peeled his hand away from Cal's side, Dylan realised it was sticky and cold. It was blood. Dylan looked up from his hand that was now covered in blood and saw the fear in Cal's eyes. Dylan, thinking that Cal was terrified for his life, was about to reassure him that he was going to fine when Cal managed to get out a few words. Words that Dylan wasn't anticipating.

"Ethan…." Cal stuttered through laboured breaths. "Is Ethan okay?"

"Ethan?" Dylan asked confused. "As far as I'm aware."

Having been reassured that Ethan was not harmed in any way, that was when the fear finally took over Cal. He looked Dylan straight in his eyes.

"Don't want to die." Cal breathed out.

"I'm not going to let you die, Cal." Dylan told him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Get out of the way!" Jacob's voice rang through the ED as Cal was rolled in on a trolley.

Straight into Resus, they went. Dylan, Elle, Jacob and Louise rushed to get Cal hooked up to the necessary wires and machines. Noel who had seen the frantic commotion was lost for words when he saw who it was on the trolley. Within minutes Duffy and Charlie had entered Resus, unaware of who the patient was. All they had heard was that it was a stabbing, but didn't catch the name of the patient. Their shock was evident when they stepped into the room.

"Oh, no." Charlie said as he ran a hand through his hair and Duffy ran up to the trolley.

The urgency in Resus was palpable. Everyone was doing something. There was Dylan looking at the heart monitor, Jacob sorting out the correct medicines, Charlie hooking up a bag of saline and Elle stroking Cal's cheek. Once Charlie had hooked up the saline drip on the hook, he walked over to the bedside. Charlie reassured Cal that everything was going to be fine. He was going to be fine. While his friends were rushing around him, trying to get him stable, all he could think about was his brother. He needed Ethan here. Charlie looked down and noticed that Cal was trying to say something. Removing the mask, Charlie heard Cal say only one word. Ethan. Understanding what he meant, Charlie went over to the double doors where Noel and Max stood. Max was already on the phone but, informed Charlie that he couldn't get any answer from Ethan. It just kept going straight to voicemail. Charlie urged Max to keep trying. Ethan needed to be here.

All of a sudden the room was filled with rapid beeping. A beeping that signalled bad news. "I can't feel a

"I can't feel a pulse." Jacob said.

"Yeah, he's arrested." Elle confirmed.

Dylan immediately took action. He ordered Elle to start intubation while he called that they needed to do a clamshell thoracotomy and to prepare an open chest kit. While the team had been working on saving Cal, the news of what had happened to one of their colleagues had spread around the department and had reached Connie. She was now in Resus watching her team do everything that they could possible to do to try and save Cal's life. Noone had yet managed to contact Ethan. It was still going straight to voicemail and nobody had any idea where he was. All they did know was that he needed to be here and soon. The sounds surrounding the team told them time was running out. While they dreaded to call time of death, they knew they had to. Everyone apart from Dylan. Dylan didn't want to call it. Couldn't call it. He kept on going even when everyone else knew that what they were doing was futile.

"Dylan," Charlie's voice cut through. "Stop. He's lost too much blood."

Dylan shook his head. No, he had to keep on going. If not for him, then for Ethan. He needed to save Cal for Ethan. That and he had promised Cal that he wouldn't let him die.

"Dylan." Charlie called out again. This time more firmly but, still gentle.

Reluctantly, Dylan stepped back.

No one dared to speak. No one could speak nor could they call 'time of death'. The monotonous tone of the flatline filled the eerie silence. While all of them thought this had been a tragic accident, only Cal knew the real reason. He had died protecting his brother. And no one would know.


	28. Chapter 28 Where's My Brother?

Ethan had no reason to suspect the look on Max's face when he barged into the _Hope & Anchor_ had anything to do with Cal. If anything, he assumed that something had happened to Lily and therefore, it was the most logical thing ask if Lily was alright. But, he didn't get the answer he was hoping for. Nor did he receive a definitive answer to his question. He automatically followed Max out of the pub, leaving his glasses behind.

"Something's happened to Cal." Max told Ethan from the short walk to the hospital's entrance.

"What do you mean 'something's happened to Cal'? Ethan questioned as he sensed the urgency in Max's walk.

"I don't really know. Everything will be explained when we get inside." Max told him.

Max pushed open the doors as Ethan followed behind. Something didn't feel right when he stepped into the department and saw Dylan waiting for him.

"Where's Cal?" Ethan asked.

"Cal was attacked…" Dylan explained.

"Attacked?" Ethan repeated.

"We don't know exactly what happened. We did everything we could."

The last few words didn't register with Ethan. He didn't quite understand what Dylan meant by they 'did everything' they could. Well, he did. He was a doctor after all. He had said those exact same words to countless relatives, but this time when he was the one hearing the words he didn't want to acknowledge the truth behind them.

"Where's Cal?" Ethan repeated again.

He wanted answers. Answers he already knew. It wasn't until he saw his friends and colleagues standing outside of Resus that he knew something was wrong. He saw the expressions on Jacob, Elle, Louise and Duffy's faces. Then Connie and Charlie turned towards him when they had heard his voice ask where his brother was. Ethan could do nothing but, look towards Charlie for answers. Charlie hesitated for a couple of seconds before uttering words Ethan thought he'd never hear.

"Cal was found stabbed."

Ethan slanted his head in confusion. If his brother had been stabbed then why were they standing out here instead of in Resus taking care of his brother? To this question, Ethan already knew the answer to. One he had known all along from the minute Dylan had said they had done everything they could.

"You…." But, Ethan couldn't finish his sentence.

He ignored Charlie's warnings and pushed past. He halted in-between the double doors, holding one of the doors open. The sight in front of him made him froze. A scene he never expected to see. There lying completely still on a trolley with a tube sticking out of his mouth and a white sheet now stained red, was his brother. His big brother. Ethan didn't know what to do.

"Cal?" Ethan called out.

He expected to receive an answer. However, when he didn't, Ethan tried again and stepped away from the double doors letting them close behind him.

"Cal?"

Ethan glanced up at the monitor hoping to see a heart rate or anything signal telling him that his brother was alive. But he didn't.

"Caleb?" He called out, using his brother's full name as he tried to wake him up.

Then it hit him. The silence, the stillness. The feeling of how cold his brother was to the touch. Tears that Ethan could no longer control escaped from his eyes. He broke down and collapsed onto his brother's chest, stroking his damp hair. Ethan could feel the wetness between his fingers. His legs buckled beneath him, but he managed to hold onto his brother's body. Cal was gone. Ethan had no one. The worst thing, though, was Cal died without his brother beside him. And that was the worst thing Ethan realised.


	29. Chapter 29 The Truth Will Out

Ethan felt the bile rise up in his throat. The realisation suddenly dawned on him about what had actually happened to his brother. Cal had died protecting him. The knife was meant to be for him, not the other way around. Scott Ellison had meant to kill him. Scott had blamed him for his father's death and was set on getting revenge. Ethan had failed to notice just how much hatred Scott had for him. Cal, unfortunately, had not. Ethan had reasoned that Scott's anger was the result of losing his father. Something Ethan could relate to.

While Ethan grieved for Emilie when she died, he couldn't help but feel angry with her. He was angry at her for giving them away, angry at her for not trying to contact them. Most of all he was angry at her for keeping a secret from them. A secret that would have a devastating consequence for him. One where he now had to face alone. He ended the last voice message his brother would ever send him and stared at Charlie.

"It was meant to be me." Ethan said.

"No," Charlie said. "We don't know that."

Ethan stared at him in disbelief. They had evidence that he was the one Scott was after, not his brother. But, Charlie didn't believe him. Nor did Alicia who was also in the office with him. Charlie left Alicia with Ethan to phone the police. Left alone, Alicia tried to comfort him.

"Ethan," Alicia began as she rested her hand on his knee. "Nobody could have seen this happening."

Ethan scoffed at her response. His brother had seen it. His brother had known that Ethan's life was in danger and as a result, Cal did what any other brother would have done. He gave his life for Ethan. He sacrificed his life just so Ethan's could be spared. And while Cal lay with blood staining his hands, breathing becoming laboured, where was Ethan? He was in the pub with Alicia. Ethan felt the nausea resurface. His brother had tried to warn him, tried to phone him. But, what did Ethan do? He ended the call. He didn't even want to speak to Cal. He had thought that Cal was ringing him because he was up to something. Something Ethan didn't want to be involved in. That was far from the truth. Cal was ringing because he was worried about him. Concerned for his safety and wanted to know if Ethan was alright. One question raced through Ethan's mind. Why? Why didn't he pick up? Then the 'what ifs' began to enter his mind. Would his brother still be here if Ethan had answered the call? He would never know. Instead, Cal was now beneath the dirt, dead, having taken a knife for him.

Ethan could no longer deal with the thought that if he hadn't disconnected Cal's call, then he would still be alive. The nausea within him took over and he proceeded to throw up into a bin beside him. After his stomach had emptied out its contents, Ethan slowly wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. He could still see Alicia sat next to him, but all he wanted now, was to be left alone. He didn't expect his next words to come out as harshly as they did, but they did.

"Get out." Ethan said.

Alicia blinked a couple of times. She was caught off guard at the harshness of Ethan's tone of voice.

"Sorry?" She asked, not knowing if she heard right.

"I said get out!" Ethan repeated even more loudly this time.

"Ethan..."

"GET OUT!"

Alicia quickly stood up out of the chair, opened the door and closed it behind her. Ethan, now left alone, broke down. This was his fault that Cal had died. His fault that his brother was no longer alive. Ethan would never hear that voice of Cal's again. He would never again get annoyed at him when Cal called him 'Nibbles'. They would never sort out a disagreement between them with 'rock, paper, scissors'. Most of all, Ethan would never get to tell his big brother 'I love you'. Scott Ellison did this to him. Did this to Cal and to them. Ethan was determined to make Scott Ellison pay for what he had done to his brother.


	30. Chapter 30 Reversal of Fortune

Blinded by anger, Ethan could see nothing but, getting revenge for Cal. The opportunity came when Scott was thrown over the balcony after a confrontation with his little brother, Mickey. Admittedly, it was Ethan who had caused the confrontation, he couldn't deny it. But, the urge of revenge was just too much and at that moment in time, when Ethan told Scott about who Mickey was seeing, he didn't really care about what happened to Scott. All he cared about was getting justice for his brother.

So that was how Scott ended up being admitted to the ED and how Ethan ended up being in the same room with him, alone. All Ethan wanted was for Scott to confess what he had done. All he wanted was for Scott to admit that he had killed his brother. And he did, but not in the way Ethan had hoped. Although Scott confessed that he killed Cal, he had the nerve to say that Cal had brought it on himself. Explained that Cal wouldn't stop lunging at him and Scott only stabbed him in self-defense. Cal got in the way, Scott said. Ethan scoffed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Scott blamed Cal for what he did. The only reason why Cal didn't stop lunging at Scott was because Cal was trying to protect his little brother. Something, Ethan wondered, Scott knew nothing about. Ethan thought Scott cared more for himself than he did about Mickey. He saw that Scott was more like his dad than Mickey was and therefore, couldn't direct his anger towards the younger Ellison.

Ethan's anger intensified when he heard two words come out of Scott's mouth.

"I'm sorry."

Ethan laughed. Sorry? He wasn't sorry. Scott had stabbed Cal, left him to bleed to death and then instead of doing the moral thing by going to the police, he washed his hands clean. Washed the hands that were covered in his brother's blood. Ethan knew Scott didn't feel sorry. He was only saying that so he could justify why he had done it. But, Ethan knew the truth. Things got a whole more complicated for Ethan when Scott suddenly began to choke on his own vomit. Scott, struggling to breath reached out his hand and begged Ethan to help him. Being a doctor, Ethan had the duty to do whatever he could to help his patient but, he couldn't. He wouldn't. Ethan was frozen to the spot. Seeing Scott struggling for breath and noticing the fear in his eyes, Ethan imagined if that was how Cal was feeling. Frightened and alone, wondering if his brother was okay while trying to hang on to life. Cal must have been terrified by the thought that he had no idea where Ethan was or if he was harmed. Terrified that he if Ethan had been hurt, it would have been all his fault. Cal must have felt like his confrontation with Scott was in vain because for all he knew, Scott could have run straight for his brother after he had plunged the knife into Cal's chest. Another scary thought must have appeared in Cal's mind while he lay, trying to stop the bleeding. What if Ethan found him?

Ethan shuddered at thought of finding his brother's body. He had heard from Charlie that it was Dylan who had found Cal and was grateful to him for staying with him until help arrived. What he didn't know was whether or not Cal had been conscious when he was found. He didn't know if his brother had been in any pain. Coming out of his thoughts, Ethan looked back at where Scott lay. Scott was begging for Ethan to help him. But, Ethan couldn't. The doctor in him would not overtake him. All that remained was the person who had lost a brother and the person responsible was in the room with him. Ethan couldn't be in the same room with the murderer who had killed his brother. Quickly, Ethan walked out of the side room, only to hesitantly scan the reception area, hoping no one had seen him leave. Fortunately, no one had. Having no witnesses to what he had just done, Ethan walked out, leaving Scott to choke to death on his own vomit.

Ethan had just reached the reception desk when an anguished cry echoed through the department. Immediately Ethan knew what that cry had meant and who had uttered such a cry. Ethan didn't dare turn around to look, just in case he made eye contact with the person who was so upset. However, he couldn't help himself. He quickly glanced over his shoulder and saw the scene in front of him. Lily was standing behind the trolley, holding a bag and mask over Scott's mouth. Lily glanced up. Her eyes met his. Paranoid that Lily would know what he had done, Ethan hurried off. Minutes later he returned. He came up beside Alicia when he noticed she was looking in on what was going on in the side room. The two of them heard 'time of death' being declared by Lily.

"Maybe Cal is still around here after all." He heard Alicia say.

He felt sick. He glared at her. This has nothing to do with Cal, he thought. Though he didn't dare tell Alicia that. He neede to get out of the hospital, needed to get away from the Ellisons. He needed to tell someone what he had done. There was only one person who he could talk to.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ethan crouched down beside a mound of dirt, placed his hand on top and looked at the gravestone in front of him. He began to gently stroke the dirt as if it was some comfort to Cal.

"I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know who I have become. I miss you so much, Cal. Help me."


	31. Chapter 31 Playing Mind Games

Scott's death wasn't really justice for what he did to Cal. But, Ethan couldn't confide in anyone to admit what he had done. So he carried the guilt with him. The cool breeze hit his face. He closed his eyes and sighed. Being alone on the rooftop of the hospital was one place Ethan thought could make the guilt disappear.

"Ethan."

Ethan heard a voice call his name. Since he had his eyes closed, Ethan assumed it was Charlie. However, as he heard his name being called again, he realised the tone of the voice was taunting him.

"Ethan." The voice taunted him again. This time more clearly.

Ethan's eyes sprung wide open hoping the voice had gone. It hadn't. The voice was still there. Still taunting him. Ethan turned his head slightly and felt the colour drain from his face. Sitting on the ledge with his legs dangling over and blood dripping from the side of his head was Scott. His fatal head injury was still visible to Ethan, making him want to throw up. Shaking his head in disbelief, Ethan let out a gasp.

"No, you're not real." Ethan breathed out.

He heard Scott give a slight chuckle.

"Oh, I am real." He mocked. "Just as real as you are."

"But, that's not possible. You're dead."

Scott smiled a cold smile.

"Am I?"

Ethan slowly nodded.

"I killed you." He admitted.

"I know." was Scott's reply.

Now Ethan was really confused. If Scott was dead, and he was dead, how could Ethan be seeing him. He must be going mad, Ethan thought to himself. As if Scott had read his mind, he answered.

"Dr. Hardy, I may be dead but, that doesn't mean I'm gone." He said, pointing to his head to clarify.

Ethan shook his head. He didn't want to admit that he was losing his mind. He wasn't crazy. Scott was dead. Buried under the ground like Cal was. Scott smiled at Ethan once again before looking out at the view in front of him. Ethan was too stunned to speak and Scott knew this. He took the opportunity to carry on talking.

"You see, Dr. Hardy." Scott began, not looking back at Ethan. "You're a monster. Just like me."

"I'm nothing like you." Ethan emphasised.

Scott chuckled. Shaking his head, he carried on.

"I wonder what big brother would think, looking down? Think he would be proud that his little brother has become a murderer?"

"Stop it!" Ethan shouted. "I'm not a murderer!"

"You may have not stuck the knife in like I did, but you are a killer. You're just like me." Scott repeated.

"I said, STOP IT! You're not real!"

Ethan thought his angry outburst would have made Scott give him a reply. This, however, did not happen and when Ethan turned around to where he had seen Scott sitting, the ledge was empty. Scott was gone. So it was just mind games after all. But, whether it was his mind playing tricks on him or not, Ethan knew that he couldn't keep his guilt a secret any longer. He was going to hand himself into the police and resign from the ED.

Having written his resignation, he walked down the corridor towards Connie's office. He didn't know what to expect. Thankfully, the office was empty when he entered. Not wanting to wait for Connie to return from wherever she had been, Ethan placed the envelope on her keyboard. He made sure that when she stood behind her desk, Connie would see the piece of white with her name written in black ink straight away.

A few hours later, Ethan found himself back up on the rooftop. He could feel his heart beating against his chest. Nervously, he gripped the ledge. It was a long way down from here. How quickly would he make contact with the ground from here? Ethan wondered to himself. Would anyone care if he'd jumped? The guilt over letting Scott die was that unbearable that Ethan considered in taking his own life.

At least that way he could be with Cal again. That and he didn't have to worry about what his future would hold. Knowing that he had a ticking time bomb inside of him, he didn't really care if he lived or died in that moment. Whatever his future held, it was bleak. He would die alone either way. He had no family left. Yes, he had friends, but he didn't want to be a burden to his friends when his symptoms developed. They all had their own lives to live. They had things to look forward too. And what did he have? He had nothing. Just a life where soon he would lose all his ability to be independent. Lose all his ability to make decisions for himself. He would become incompetent. This was not something Ethan wanted for himself.

Ethan, however, couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't end his life. Not like this anyway. The thought of Cal and what Cal would have felt if he knew that Ethan had taken his own life, stopped Ethan from committing suicide. Seconds later after he had pulled away from the ledge, the metal door was pushed open. He heard the familiar sound of high heels and Connie's voice.

"Ah, there you are," Connie said to him as she walked up to him.

Ethan didn't turn around when she spoke. Connie didn't assume that there was anything to be worried about when she saw the resignation letter. It was understandable if Ethan felt like he could no longer work at the hospital since Cal's death. But, then fear crept up into her throat when she carried on reading the words written on the piece of paper. Lifting her head up, she scanned outside her office door hoping to see Ethan working. She, however, did not. She let herself dismiss the idea that there was something to be worried about. She was certain that Ethan was just busy with a patient. There was no need to worry that he was going to take drastic action. But, the panic rose when she asked Noel if he had seen Ethan pass by and he responded with he hadn't. Connie frantically searched the entire department hoping Ethan was somewhere in the hospital. However, when Connie couldn't find him anywhere, she had resorted to the last place she would have thought he'd be.

While Connie was relieved to have found him, she wasn't too keen that he was up on the rooftop. Standing beside him, Connie continued to talk.

"Look, Ethan, if you're still grieving about Cal's death, there are people who can help."

Ethan looked at her.

"This isn't about Cal," Ethan said.

He wasn't sure if Connie believed him or not. But, that didn't matter. Connie nodded slightly in acknowledgment. She then gave him a small smile before leaving him alone. Watching Connie walk away, Ethan wasn't too sure if he'd believed his own words. Was his decision to resign really about Cal? He wasn't too sure. A part of him wanted to say it was about Cal.

Well, at first anyway. It was about getting revenge for Cal's death and Ethan had thought that if Scott died, that would be enough. Scott deserved to die. But, then Ethan realised it wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to be like Scott. He didn't want to be someone who got away with murder. Got away with killing someone's brother just like Scott had done to him. No, the reason why he handed in his resignation was because he wanted to do the right thing. Ever since Ethan had walked away while Scott chocked to death, he kept wondering what would Cal think? Was he really looking down on him? Had he seen what Ethan had done while Scott struggled to breath? Would Cal be proud of him that he'd kill someone in order to get justice for what happened to him? Ethan would never be sure, but one thing he was certain of, was that Cal would never want him to live with the burden of guilt. He would understand that Ethan's strong morals would eventually override any feelings of revenge or hatred towards Scott Ellison.

"I know what you're thinking." Scott's vision reappeared in the same position he was before Connie arrived. "So why don't you? Do the whole world a favour."

This time Ethan could see that Scott's eyes were dull and lifeless. He caused him to shiver because that was how he was feeling right at this moment.

"How on earth can you know what I'm thinking?" Ethan said through gritted teeth.

"You think it's easy. You think you can carry on with your life, your job as if nothing has happened. But, you can't. Now your dirty little secret will infect everything you do. You're a monster, just like me."

Ethan shook his head. He wasn't going to let Scott intimidate him now that he was dead. He was nothing like Scott.

"I'm nothing like you." Ethan spat out.

Scott grinned.

"Oh, you are. You just don't want to admit it."

"NO I'M NOT!" screamed Ethan.

Ethan closed his eyes tight. He just wanted Scott to go away. He didn't want to listen to his words any longer. Words that Ethan knew were true. He just wanted it to all end. Seconds later Ethan jolted awake. Somehow in his outburst, he had managed to pull himself up on the ledge. He was now sitting in the exact same position as Scott's vision had been in. Ethan's legs dangled over the edge and his palms were flat on the concrete edge. His skin touched the cool stone, it was rough yet smooth. The coolness of the stone against his warm skin gave a shiver down his spine. The sensation reminded him of how Cal had felt when he stroked his hair trying to get him to wake up. That moment etched in his memory forever. Gripping the ledge even tighter, Ethan leaned forward slightly. Looking down he saw his colleagues and friends going about their daily lives, none of them the wiser of what he had done. Maybe Scott was right? Maybe he should end his life there and then?


	32. Chapter 32 I've Got You Brother

"I didn't think this was you, Nibbles." Cal's voice penetrated his ears.

Ethan shut his eyes tight, not daring to look. It was all in his mind. Then he felt a cold sensation up his arm. It wasn't a chilling feeling, the one people get when something scary is about to happen. It was a comforting feeling. A feeling that told Cal was beside him on the ledge. Ethan opened his eyes and turned his head sideways. He smiled. But, it was a sad smile.

"I can't do this anymore, Cal." Ethan said. "I don't deserve to live."

Cal looked down at where his hand lay upon Ethan's and squeezed his hold a little bit tighter.

"This isn't the way to go, Eth." Cal told him.

"What is 'the way to go'? Huh, tell me, Cal! What is the proper way to go? Is taking a knife for me the proper way to go?" Ethan snapped, pulling his hand away from Cal's grip.

Cal looked at him, his eyes shone with unshed tears.

"This isn't about me."

"Of course, it is! It's always been about you. This time is no different, even when you're dead."

"Ethan…."

"It's the truth, isn't it?" Ethan said. "If you hadn't been so reckless, none of this would have happened. Why did you have to go? WHY?"

This time Ethan's eyes were filled with tears and they were streaming down his face as he yelled at his brother.

"Tell me? Why did you have to go? I didn't even get to say goodbye." Ethan carried on. "I wasn't even there when you needed me the most."

All Cal wanted to do was to whisper to him that everything was going to be alright, that he was here, that he was alive. But, Cal knew that it wasn't true. He wasn't alive. He was dead and Ethan was hurting. It pained him to see his little brother hurting knowing there was nothing he could do. He wanted to pull Ethan into his embrace. To comfort him. But, he couldn't. Even if he did, he wouldn't be able to feel Ethan's head against his chest. More importantly, Ethan wouldn't be able to feel his embrace. An embrace that told him how much Cal loved him. How much he still loves him.

"I didn't want to go, Eth. I tried to stay alive for you. I tried to fight the darkness, but I couldn't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I messed things up. Again. Like I always do. That's just me, isn't it? A complete mess up. Even in death. But, I wouldn't change anything. I would do it all over again if I had to. I would take a thousand of knives for you, Ethan just to make sure you were alive."

"I miss you." Ethan told him.

Cal smiled a loving smile at him.

"I miss you too. I love you, little brother."

With his last words, Cal faded away.

"I love you too, Cal." Ethan whispered to the cool air.


	33. Chapter 33 Just Remember Who I Am

_Based on the episode 'Reap the Whirlwind- Part 2'. Also inspired by the song 'Brother' by Kodaline and 'Losing Your Memory' by Ryan Star. This time from Cal's POV as he sacrifices his own life for his brother's._

 _If I was dying on my knees_

 _You would be the one to rescue me_

The cool blade penetrates my side and I can feel the warm blood, my blood trickle down. Clutching my side and feeling my breaths come slower, I watch as Scott Ellison runs away.

I should have been frightened for myself when I saw the glint of the blade in Scott's hand. My mind should have warned me to not cause any trouble, but me being me, I didn't. Not when I knew who the knife was intended for. How could I stand back and do nothing when I knew that Scott was going to attack my brother? My little brother. As a big brother, it was my job to look out for him, to protect him from harm's way. That's exactly what I did. I stopped him from getting killed. I gave my life to save his.

Originally as I lay on the cool stone with the rain pouring down on my skin, I thought I would have survived this incident. That I would be able to see my brother again. But, as I get rolled into Resus with the machines going off and all my friends talking over each other, I know that the outcome isn't the one I was expecting. I am a doctor after all. And I know when a life cannot be saved. My colleagues and friends try their hardest to save me, but it just wasn't meant to be. I see how hard they blame themselves for what has happened, especially Dylan. He was the one who found me. He was the one who told me he wasn't going to let me die. He even promised. But, I don't hold that against him. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault apart from the person who put the knife in me.

 _You're losing your memory now_

The next scene was the most heartbreaking. The one that can never be erased from my memory. The look on Ethan's face when he entered Resus and saw my body lying so still on the trolley. He just stood there, not daring to move. Afraid to move just in case I woke up. And even though he could clearly see a tube sticking down my throat, he still thought that this was some sick joke. He thought I would jump up and laugh. Laugh at him for being so gullible. But, I never did. I remained where I lay.

I can remember feeling my body wobble side to side as Ethan shook me, rather violently. I can hear his uncontrollable sobs as he calls out to me. Calling me to wake up. Telling me he couldn't believe this had happened. Not to us anyway. He had seen so many time with patients when they lost a loved one, he just never assumed it would happen to him. To us. Neither of us did. If I was honest, I would have to admit that even when I was alive, I always thought I would be the first to go. I've always been more reckless than Ethan has. Always living in the moment, taking what life throws my way. At least I thought I was. Long story short, Ethan has Huntington's. A disease that will slowly take away any sort of life he might have. No one knows apart from me and Lily. But, now that I'm no longer around, he will have to cope with the knowledge that this disease will appear and I won't be there to look after him.

I feel the weight of his body on mine as Ethan collapses on top of me. His arms are around my neck and I can feel his grip tighten as someone tries to drag him away from me. I hear his screams as he is pulled away.

I did this for you, Ethan.

And then I fade away into the abyss that is waiting for me. Fade away as I go to be with our mothers.


End file.
